osaka

Would anyone be interested in getting me late xmas/ birthday/ valentines gift?
id really appreciate it as i still dont have warm shoes/ boots that are waterproof
and i am literally and figuratively broke
and my feet cry

haha what a weird thing
anyway i love you all
look at my wish list!

things i have seen or heard recently and my thoughts on them, a summary:

• 
  Wristcutters: this movie is the shit. the atmosphere is beautiful. Tom Waits is beautiful.
  
  Rocknrolla: no. just no. 2 hours of absolutely nothing at all. go away Mr. Ritchie you lost it a long time ago.
  
  Buena Vista Social Club: i do not know why it took me...
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probably
its just the cold,its just the winter that seems to be lasting an age.

i suddenly felt so grey.

i felt un-cheered by little things. small things. the bright colours have seeped out the window, run down the page and disappeared.

i was watching spirited away last night (chris hadnt seen it before) and in the scene where chihiro runs along a falling down...
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My Birthday

so
decided its about time to update in this most splendid of 2009s
happy new year

here i recount what went on over xmas:

SO
christmas. sucky sucky. im no fan of christmas, its way too fucking stressful and contrived and false
that being said, i hope all y'all have a super nice time, stay chilled, dont get over stressed by family etc.
oh yeah, nice presents, good food, blah blah blah


it might not sound like it but i AM being sincere

i think i am constantly waiting
waiting for the moment when i can be myself and do the things i want to do and say what i think and and and
etc.
because its easier (?) to just hide inside,and look out from a great distance, keep it at arms length
and be anonymous
and not step on toes
and not make decisions
take no...
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i threw up yesterday
i feel cleansed

i had a strange dream which seemed to go on for a long time and i drifted near wakefullness during it a couple of times. and while the storyline didnt make much sense and nothing positive was happening, it had a really nice atmosphere.
i woke up feeling all good

i think im going to spend all my savings on new clothes and silly items...
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yesterday i went to meet chris during his 2 hour break and we went to this tiny tiny little coffee place we like alot which is close to the university.
it just so happened that the person working there that day was my friend from when we both worked at the dutch cafe.
she asked if i was still looking for a job because the...
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ever feel so empty its like you're sucking yourself in?

FUCK YES!!!!

Obama ftw!