Another long, angry, ugly, bitter journal entry written and deleted. I keep trying, but it just isn't coming out right. Bottom line though, I just don't really like myself today.
The words that best describe what's happening:
Anthropophobia
Clinophobia
Genophobia
Haptephobia
Katagelophobia
Monophobia
Pocrescophobia
Philophobia
Soteriophobia
Sometimes I don't give a fuck what people think. But of course I also have days when I need...
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The words that best describe what's happening:
Anthropophobia
Clinophobia
Genophobia
Haptephobia
Katagelophobia
Monophobia
Pocrescophobia
Philophobia
Soteriophobia
Sometimes I don't give a fuck what people think. But of course I also have days when I need...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Sometimes I feel as though my presence within certain social circles is similar to that of a banana in most fruit smoothies. I dare you to figure out what I mean.
In other news, I hate this weather with a passion. Snow in New York City is pretty for the first few hours, and then it just becomes filthy and inconvenient. (I guess snowflakes and...
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In other news, I hate this weather with a passion. Snow in New York City is pretty for the first few hours, and then it just becomes filthy and inconvenient. (I guess snowflakes and...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
krrn:
dooooode! I have this class where we have to go to an urban High school... and we're going to Vanguard.
I don't know if I shoudl be scared or excited.
I don't know if I shoudl be scared or excited.
krrn:
dooooode! I have this class where we have to go to an urban High school... and we're going to Vanguard.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited.
Sometimes I feel as though my presence within certain social circles is similar to that of a banana in most fruit smoothies. I dare you to figure out what I mean.
In other news, I hate this weather with a passion. Snow in New York City is pretty for the first few hours, and then it just becomes filthy and inconvenient. (I guess snowflakes and...
Read More
In other news, I hate this weather with a passion. Snow in New York City is pretty for the first few hours, and then it just becomes filthy and inconvenient. (I guess snowflakes and...
Read More
Tonight I had my first strip club experience, and let me just say IT ROCKED. And two very cool guys bought me one very hot lapdance. Whoa.
And I got to see some people I adore, and meet some rad new people as well. That's always a nice thing.
Oh, and did I mention that I got a lapdance? Fucking awesome.
And I got to see some people I adore, and meet some rad new people as well. That's always a nice thing.
Oh, and did I mention that I got a lapdance? Fucking awesome.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
raulbnuttz:
Thanks lady! You've always seemed to have had my back. 
How are you handling the storm. Nothing a good lapdance or two couldn't help. 
How are you handling the storm. Nothing a good lapdance or two couldn't help. 
pav:
You really don't like my new one? What's wrong with it this time?
I'm just never scandalously dashing enough for you am I, Irina.
I'm just never scandalously dashing enough for you am I, Irina.
I feel like I should have something to say here, but I don't really. I've just been spending a lot of time with the goth crew, and that's been really nice. Real-life face-to-face social interaction. It's been very very very wonderful.
Tomorrow I have a semi-date with one of the guys from the aforementioned social circle. He's taking me to a well-hidden beer garden, and...
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Tomorrow I have a semi-date with one of the guys from the aforementioned social circle. He's taking me to a well-hidden beer garden, and...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
clockworkjim:
I spent much time with the NYC goth crew. What I can say is this. Watch out who you date. There are many men who go around looking for semi shy girls they can play mind games with.
and how was the VNV show? I had to skip it do to a bad case of the flue. grrrrrr
and how was the VNV show? I had to skip it do to a bad case of the flue. grrrrrr
acidslug:
Thanks for the well wishes . 
As it turns out, I've thought of quite a few ways for it to get worse, and I expect any one of them to crop up shortly. Oddly enough, I don't really feel all that bad, though that could be still in the works.
"And this too shall pass. . ."
As it turns out, I've thought of quite a few ways for it to get worse, and I expect any one of them to crop up shortly. Oddly enough, I don't really feel all that bad, though that could be still in the works.
"And this too shall pass. . ."
Why do men feel such a need to toy with me? WHY?
I'm so bitter and frustrated and alone, and I just don't fucking understand it.
I used to be so charming, so interesting, so attractive. Now apparently I'm just fuckable. But I'm not interested in just fucking. Women get criticized so much for being so emotional, for wanting commitment, for having so many god...
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I'm so bitter and frustrated and alone, and I just don't fucking understand it.
I used to be so charming, so interesting, so attractive. Now apparently I'm just fuckable. But I'm not interested in just fucking. Women get criticized so much for being so emotional, for wanting commitment, for having so many god...
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VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
hellomrworld:
NYC can be an odd place for coupling ... didnt know your a pre-school teacher now .. thats really cool
foxgemini:
Hey Irina. Just wanted to let you know that I find sex without emotional attachments a piece of shit too.
Honestly, that's the reason I haven't had sex with anyone but myself in so long. Sure I could go to the gay bar and get an ass fucking or a blow job, but in the end it would simply be anonymous sex and I don't like that. Not to mention what a great way it is to catch diseases and shit.
My point being that I find guys do the same things to me if I don't keep on top of things real well.
As I told my friend last night, getting laid is easy, finding companionship is very hard.
Anyway, we haven't talked in quite a while, sorry.
Tim.
Honestly, that's the reason I haven't had sex with anyone but myself in so long. Sure I could go to the gay bar and get an ass fucking or a blow job, but in the end it would simply be anonymous sex and I don't like that. Not to mention what a great way it is to catch diseases and shit.
My point being that I find guys do the same things to me if I don't keep on top of things real well.
As I told my friend last night, getting laid is easy, finding companionship is very hard.
Anyway, we haven't talked in quite a while, sorry.
Tim.
I spent a good long while typing up a journal entry full of bitching and moaning, whining, complaining, self-pity, self-loathing, and a whole lot of emotional baggage that nobody is interested in. And then I deleted it. It didn't feel therapeutic at all. It was depressing. It made me fucking angry.
And all I want is someone here holding me. So simple.
...
If anyone...
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And all I want is someone here holding me. So simple.
...
If anyone...
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VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
krrn:
I know, Dorothy is such an odd name to be #10. I don't get it.
And, yes, Ziggy owns.. although I may have to listen to Boxoffice a little. just a little.
And, yes, Ziggy owns.. although I may have to listen to Boxoffice a little. just a little.
krrn:
hahahahah! Ooooh man. telling people their worthless!! I HEART YOU! 
hahaha
hahaha~ I'm sick. I wasn't sick for a couple weeks, but still this somehow just doesn't feel like news. *cough, hack* My throat is especially angry.
~ I forgot to mention the worst part of my crazy goth week: when I was at Downtime, I lost my glasses. I was dancing all intoxicated-like, and they fell off. They didn't get smashed on the floor or...
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~ I forgot to mention the worst part of my crazy goth week: when I was at Downtime, I lost my glasses. I was dancing all intoxicated-like, and they fell off. They didn't get smashed on the floor or...
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VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
kayla_:
Dude are you coming to oakland!
the boyfriend works in oakland
its about 20 minutes away
ARE YOU COMIGN!?WOEIr
lskdjr
the boyfriend works in oakland
its about 20 minutes away
ARE YOU COMIGN!?WOEIr
lskdjr
nadzofsteel:
Get well soon. 
When I got back from Florida on Tuesday, I was so rested, and healthy, and ready to go back to work. Ahahaha. No longer. I now present to you a timeline of events:
Tuesday night:
~ home from Florida. Sleep.
Wednesday day:
~ sleep.
Wednesday night:
~ Laced up at 5 pm.
~ VNV prep @ Brendan's house; much drinking & smoking.
~ VNV Nation...
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Tuesday night:
~ home from Florida. Sleep.
Wednesday day:
~ sleep.
Wednesday night:
~ Laced up at 5 pm.
~ VNV prep @ Brendan's house; much drinking & smoking.
~ VNV Nation...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
ash:
oooooooooooh, where in florida did u go? Im from there! must be nice visiting at this time of year, its fucking freezing!!!
cheapbastard:
Didn't you know that staying up all night and sleeping during the day is the new black? Sleeping at night is for bougies.
Thanks for the kissy face. Heh.
Thanks for the kissy face. Heh.
Kick me.
It's a new year, but I'm still the same old fool.
It's a new year, but I'm still the same old fool.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
aurelius:
Whoops, I just realized I left my comment on your previous entry by accident. But it was retarded, so that's OK.
Happy New Year!
I think I'll leave the kicking to someone else. I'm much more of a slapping sort of person, myself.
Happy New Year!
I think I'll leave the kicking to someone else. I'm much more of a slapping sort of person, myself.
stellartrane:
I'll give you an elbow drop.
Oh shit. Oh shit. I got so fucking hammered last night, and... blah! Just the combination of so many factors foreign to my everyday life. I drank too much. I smoked too much green. I smoked too many cloves. I wore my corset fully laced for 12 hours. (I had to loosen it after that - a chocolate milkshake was calling to me and I...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
kipling:
Coherence is overrated ...
As long as fun was had.
As long as fun was had.
aurelius:
Uh, huh huh, huh huh, you said worrisome. That rhymes with penis, huh huh.
No it doesn't! Shut up, asswipe! Agh! Nachos!
No it doesn't! Shut up, asswipe! Agh! Nachos!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
jazz:
I'm with Krrn, what she said. So yay for you! 
I had a look at there site, mmmm very dark. I'll have a longer look some other day when I have more time.
Take care,
MWAH!
I had a look at there site, mmmm very dark. I'll have a longer look some other day when I have more time.
Take care,
MWAH!
I'm with the Fart guy. Think of lap dances.