I wish there was an emoticon for my dick... oh wait here's one 
I feel the weight of impending doom
its my birthday and I'm not telling any of my friends...
This is the type of article that makes me want to call someone and say "SEE I TOLD YOU SO" but realistically, who am I going to call?
... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it
... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it
Today I slept too late, ran into someone at dunkin donuts who I had a job interview once and tried to pass off my 2pm morning breath and JBF hair as artsy fartsy bohemianism.
I dont think it worked.
I dont think it worked.
