curmudgeon

this is my last entry. i'm ending my subscription. if i feel like coming back, i will. take care suicide kids.

fucking tired.

off to brush my teeth. back to work after 5 days off. i don't feel like going. nope, not at all. at least on the afternoons, my partner and i can practice our golf swings, watch movies and catch a nap. the joys of being a union steelworker electrician. joy!

i got way too drunk tonight. i went to a friend of a friend's bachelor party. we had fun, but seeing naked girls all night without someone to come ome to sometimes sucks. i shouldn't get so loaded, but what the hell, i just worked the last 16 days without a day off. fuck it, it's too hard to type. goodnight.

i have to go buy a new lawnmower today. i then have to put it together. bugger!
we have a 70% chance for severe storms today. at least i have that to look forward to.
i HATE my midnight shifts. thank goodness i only have two more to go. they make me a crabby boy from the lack of sleepies.
off to sears, stears and...
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if you look to your left it says most humbling moment. that friend would have been 34 today. happy birthday ricky. god knows i miss you.
i saved the company millions of dollars(literally) last night. well, me and my electrician partner. for that, we are getting letter of accomidation. it comes framed with a handshake from my boss for a job well done. with everything...
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fuckin 16 hour shifts. booo

i haven't enev had time to go for a boat ride. that sucks.

i fell about 6 feet of a crane at work two days ago. i landed on my elbow and caught my shin on the way down. i have a bruised bone in my elbow and a scrapped to fuck shin. if i knew how to post pictures...
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i wrote this almost two years ago and some of it still hits home.
random thoughts: the train ride home from philadelphia, standing in the ocean watching the sunset, helena's smile, go! go! go!, will you take this off ebay? it's for her birthday, getting an extra fiver for the dairy barn after cutting the grass at grandma's, going ice skating, being woke up by...
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i want to write a british sketch show so i can ust words like bugger, bullocks and words of theat nature. i love british humor. seen angry kid yet? it at www.atomfilms.com it's great stuff. the shit cracks me up.
i need another week of vacation. my long weekend is the week after july 4. i'm either going to philly, chicago, cleveland or anywhere but...
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tonight i fell asleep in the computer chair. i woke up with the who's "behind blue eyes" on repeat. that's what i get for waiting until midnight to wash my sheets.
ouch, my neck hurts.
i just realized that my journal entry shows 11:00pm when in fact, it's 2:00am.
"no one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man...
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I'm one fourth of what I used to be and half of what I need. We're the victims of mathematics, applying fractions to modern day living is as useful as handing gasoline to an arsonist.


having a bad night. alchohol isn't helping.

this is a time in my life when everything is falling apart and at the same time, it's all coming togetrher.
those summer days that i longed for never really were what i wanted them to be.