snow

he said there was a bumble bee with a piece of chocolate in it's teeth. though i don't remember any bee having teeth. he was writing a script. do you think willem defoe would be interested. the star on the floor lights up the whole room. for a moment the darkness is sexy. i look down and see the curve....you know the curve where the...
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if only i had something to say
to make the cold go away

we stare at the red
and the blue turns to green
our eyes are swollen

and it hurts to want you so bad

if i had a hammer, i would hammer in the morning...or just at 3am and piss off the neighbors.

the cloud of confusion is breaking and i am still okay. sometimes i have to come out of the cave and open my mouth and eyes.

i am excited for myself, for once. i look forward to going on tour. things are going to be rough,...
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i want steak, an electric blanket, all of mark ryden's paintings, a pretty red wall, you to like me, you to stop crying, you to stop stressing out, you to stop asking questions, you to love me, mint chocolate chip ice cream, to go to la, to smoke another joint, everything to be back to normal, new paints, a friend named vincent, my imaginary friend...
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whoever you are, i will find you. i will find out who you are and tear out your heart....as i can't tear out your soul....you have none

so if anyone else wants to talk shit about me, i am crawling back into the bat cave with my vodka. if anyone else wants to hurt me you can come and find me. i shall slip out...
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we....siren, ruby, december, snow....are getting ready to go to the fetish ball and gogo dance. while my eyes are electric eel blue...my lips are hooker red...and my cheeks candy apples. the fishnets will come off and be replaced with ????
we talk about sex and love, but our hearts are all breaking...and reforming into ultimate machines. pumping, pumping, drooling out the left corner of my...
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tonight at dante's....siren, snow, ruby....and a few other sg's performing. so you should come watch..bright red lips and vodka.


she is a bitch...i hear her say out of the corner of my mind.

daylight finds you after seven years and your mind spins in a creamsicle fashion. orange and vanilla. i wish i could taste it on you as i stare. are your eyes green...
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i forgot to feed the hogs.

what is today? what does it all mean? are we not robots?

i don't recall yesterday being this much fun. i do remember waking up and not knowing how it would end.

your face and a red balloon. a matress and a pea. you are the pretty pretty princess. you are in berlin or was it france?

i read...
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i was outside as i ran from danger. acres of madness and a masquerade at midnight. she hands me the scissors and i shred my skin. my air darkens in the light as i inhale. a bird a monster an overdeveloped sense of paranoia. i tripped over a twig and broke my skin. i smell indecisiveness and murder. the glass breaks.....turns over and smokes.





come...
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abstain from this moodswing

attempting to sleep and not be awake for days

in the form of a small oval pill.......white light

i miss you because i smell you

on my knee
..........................................................................
today i am scared. scared of what may go wrong.

so i put up some candids.......well collin rae took some photos of me around valentine's day...so they are there for your eyes to see...i have a lot more...from that day with perry gallagher...i just have to put them up there.....soon.

some of them are rather scary...in that scary sort of sick way that i love