had a thought, but lost it...
every part of me is in pain. its not excruciating, but its definately there, its real and harsh and lingering... physical, most of it, but once in awhile it pushes its way in to my brain...
painful thoughts, painful dreams, painful memories...
i wake up with gnarled hands, no explanation, just curled and hurting... sometimes numb. what does it...
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every part of me is in pain. its not excruciating, but its definately there, its real and harsh and lingering... physical, most of it, but once in awhile it pushes its way in to my brain...
painful thoughts, painful dreams, painful memories...
i wake up with gnarled hands, no explanation, just curled and hurting... sometimes numb. what does it...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
crowsmeat:
Aww...thanks. I'll try and remember to wipe my shoes first.
elvgrenink:
i'll always think of you and read your thoughts..
just lost my update. motherfucker.
heh. soooo... about that last entry. oops.
getting ready for work... running late, but it feels like its too early in the day to be running late.
i woke up alone on a tearstained pillow, shallow breaths punctuated by dreamy whimpers...
i had that dream again. fuck that dream-- once was more than enough. tearstained and quivering is no way...
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heh. soooo... about that last entry. oops.
getting ready for work... running late, but it feels like its too early in the day to be running late.
i woke up alone on a tearstained pillow, shallow breaths punctuated by dreamy whimpers...
i had that dream again. fuck that dream-- once was more than enough. tearstained and quivering is no way...
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VIEW 25 of 42 COMMENTS
im going out for a bit.... running some errands and buying meself a smoothie. when i get home ill update for real. i swear.
no, seriously. i promise.
no, seriously. i promise.
VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
kira:
update???? so where is it????
fiesty:
Hey Benni been forever and a day since I have talked to you, if you even remember who I am lol. Hope you are doing well. Take care hun.
i did laundry, cleaned my bathroom, worked, and read a story to my cats.
thats the most productive ive been in weeks.
thats the most productive ive been in weeks.
VIEW 25 of 58 COMMENTS
moralitydies:
how was th trip?
last night a girl at work made me cry; it pissed me off, because i should be above that bullshit. she told me i was rude, that none of the girls like me and its funny that i dont know that, and that i should buy some class. utilizing my *amazing* restraint, i refrained from telling her that i wasnt the fifty year old with...
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VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
elvgrenink:
want to hug and nuzzle the benni
want to hug and nuzzle the benni
erythrocytez:
Hey thanks for the comment! Did you see the xray on the previous entry? You can see the metal bar quite clearly in it. I can actually feel the ends of it on each of my sides now. Feels quite unusual but I'll get used to it. It was a bit of an ordeal, but I'm getting over it quicker than I anticipated. My first major operation so I'm glad for the experience anyway 
And to answer your question, my sleeve was done my Matt Cunnington atWestside Tattooin Brisbane Australia. He does some really incredible work, like this backpiece.
And to answer your question, my sleeve was done my Matt Cunnington atWestside Tattooin Brisbane Australia. He does some really incredible work, like this backpiece.
my hands are my hands, but they dont listen to me anymore... ignoring my brain, sending signals to brush the hair out of my eyes; swing and a miss! attempt to rub my tired eyes and wipe the tension from my forehead instead...
maybe my hands are not my hands. they seem to have a mind of their own, as of late... all they can...
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maybe my hands are not my hands. they seem to have a mind of their own, as of late... all they can...
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VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
tegan:
yes i got your email.
ill see you soon.
im here now.
you can call me on my 415 number.
ill see you soon.
im here now.
you can call me on my 415 number.
click_here:
i love da ladies also
i think you need one of those posturepic beds with the space aqage material and one of those special japanese pillows
hows the mutant arm coming along?
i think you need one of those posturepic beds with the space aqage material and one of those special japanese pillows
hows the mutant arm coming along?
its like i had all my days carefully arranged in a jar, and then i dropped it into a gross puddle...
or the toilet, or something.
so now i dont want to reach in to retrieve them, but when i do, when i pull the days out... theyre muddy and confused, dripping and wrinkled and disgusting and out of order...
like my life has no...
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or the toilet, or something.
so now i dont want to reach in to retrieve them, but when i do, when i pull the days out... theyre muddy and confused, dripping and wrinkled and disgusting and out of order...
like my life has no...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 47 COMMENTS
spacetracer:
nice artistry in your poetry i reall enjoyed it very iformative to my sub-consious mind hit me where it hurts! give us more its really eye-opening i enjoyed it immensely
badphinger:
you're way with words is beautiful!!! matched only by the beauty you bring to your photos!!! thank you for letting me into your mind!!!
i miss you.
VIEW 25 of 51 COMMENTS
billybillybilly:
i'm drunk enough to where i wish that journal had anything to do with me.
you just push me away, and you're so good at it. i wish i could do the same, but i'm so weak. you've got some crazy hold on me, and you don't even care, but i do. and i always will.
i'm going to stop dwelling on this. at least until tomorrow morning.
you just push me away, and you're so good at it. i wish i could do the same, but i'm so weak. you've got some crazy hold on me, and you don't even care, but i do. and i always will.
i'm going to stop dwelling on this. at least until tomorrow morning.
xbronzebeautyx:
hope you feel better sweety, missing people hurts, ALOT!
UPDATE.
updated for the sake of updating, but did so with nothing to say.
oops.
sorry, guys. didnt sit back and look at it till people started calling the roomie.
i live.
updated for the sake of updating, but did so with nothing to say.
oops.
sorry, guys. didnt sit back and look at it till people started calling the roomie.
i live.
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
aurora:
glad you live..
someone called my roommate when i lived in alberta once, becuase i wrote on my online journal.. "i died tonight" ...
i wanted to say.. if i really died, would i have typed it on the computer?
someone called my roommate when i lived in alberta once, becuase i wrote on my online journal.. "i died tonight" ...
i wanted to say.. if i really died, would i have typed it on the computer
?
dagan:
no comment...
and as the blood ran down my fingers and fell, unceremoniously, to the floor, i realized just how badly all of this was going to hurt.
and it was worse than i thought.
and it was worse than i thought.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
zpo:
/me grabs his handy SF medic bag and jumps into the MEDEVAC bird.
Do me a favor and pop smoke so I know where to fastrope in.
Do me a favor and pop smoke so I know where to fastrope in.
grizz3rd:
I wish I could feel your pain for you