bailey

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKK!


i'm not tough.

its all been a huge joke i was playing on myself.

sooooo...in case there was any doubt in your minds....

i have just been proven to be 100% a fucking lunatic.


anyone want to support and out-of-work crazy lady?

i have decided that my new life rule is that i am allowed to do anything i know to be bad for me as long as i look FAB-U-LOUS doing it.

and trust me, i look fucking fabulous right now.

i wonder if i went off birth control and had a whole lot of unprotected sex with random people if i would get AIDS or knocked up first....


that was completely inappropriate

today is a very important day for me in the personal goals sense.

i accomplished something i set out to do one year ago today.

its really not that big of a deal, but to me.....

i'm buying myself a cake to celebrate AND I'M EATING THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING!

i think its about time i have a total nervous breakdown.

except i'm not nervous.

so maybe just a breakdown.

or maybe i will just dance to a breakdown.

make up a song with a kickass breakdown.

i need some eggs to throw in the bathtub.

soooo...

last night i get an email from my stepmom....

"christmas was great...blah blah blah.
oh, and by the way, your uncles fiance was murdered last week."

so, naturally, i FLIP THE FUCK OUT
but its midnight so i cant call my father

so i call my sister in california
who in turn
FLIPS THE FUCK OUT

i then go to read her the email...
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YAY!
i just got out of having to work tonight

the end.

to whom it may concern,

i cant think of anything to write, so please write my update for me.

thank you,
bailey fuckin' maxwell

if you look real close at my profile photo, my thumb appears to be poking into the side of my face...or my face is see-through and my thumb is behind it.

either way, its totally fucked up.


and i would expect nothing less.

this is a test of the emergency broadcast system.












this is only a test.

big huge hem and haw.

tomorrow i return to the frozen tundra that is boston.

tonight i sat outside without my shoes on and grilled shish-ka-bob (no man named bob was involved however)

i went to the zoo today and had birds all over and me and fed some sting rays. it was fucking cool. next time, camera wont be left at home.

i miss...
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