I've been asking myself "why?" a lot lately. To no particular question but to life in general. I find that I look at the things that I fill my life with and then think about why I want or need it in my life. I'm never completely sure of the answer but as long as I can find some semblance of a satisfactory answer I find that I'm alright with the decision most of the time. I ask myself why I haven't been in school for the past year and I answer it's because I ran out of money for school and I needed to help my family survive though the tough times. I ask myself why I go to work every day and I find that I tell myself that I need the money, but that I also like the people I work with most of the times. I asked myself the other day why I joined this site and it gave me a bit of a pause though. Was it to look at all the beautiful girls? I don't really think so. Then I had to think about it. I Guess I joined because I wanted to find something in my life that I couldn't find anywhere else. I was looking for a place that I could express my thoughts without feeling that I would be judged, where I could actually be me.
I'm not sure if this is the place to do that or even if anyone will pay attention to it (which I sincerely doubt). My hope is to find friends that I don't feel that I have in real life. It's strange to think that I'm looking for friends on the internet, that I'm searching for companionship in a sea of anonymity.
Right now I even find myself asking why am I writing this blog post that no one will see. Is it just to free the thoughts that are swirling around my head like the fog in an old noir movie, so that I may see further into the night that holds mysteries? (I'm not sure if that line will make sense to anyone but myself but I felt that it was a incredible image.) Maybe it is to release the pressure that holds down my emotions so that I may feel unburdened once more. Either way I know that I'm going to post this rather twisted stream of thought post and feel better.
But returning to my original thought of, "why?". AWWWW people came into the house and totally through a wrecking ball through my thought process and now that the train is derailed I guess so is the rest of the post.
I'm not sure if this is the place to do that or even if anyone will pay attention to it (which I sincerely doubt). My hope is to find friends that I don't feel that I have in real life. It's strange to think that I'm looking for friends on the internet, that I'm searching for companionship in a sea of anonymity.
Right now I even find myself asking why am I writing this blog post that no one will see. Is it just to free the thoughts that are swirling around my head like the fog in an old noir movie, so that I may see further into the night that holds mysteries? (I'm not sure if that line will make sense to anyone but myself but I felt that it was a incredible image.) Maybe it is to release the pressure that holds down my emotions so that I may feel unburdened once more. Either way I know that I'm going to post this rather twisted stream of thought post and feel better.
But returning to my original thought of, "why?". AWWWW people came into the house and totally through a wrecking ball through my thought process and now that the train is derailed I guess so is the rest of the post.
p.s. the minute you stop asking yourself "why?"...that's when your life holds no meaning. from the time you learn to talk, you're always asking why.