The police officer had already decided Philando was a threat before he even approached him in the car. He already had decided he was dangerous based on his ‘ wide nose matching a suspect of another crime.’ He already perceived himself in danger before a word was shared between them. His perceived threat put him on hyper-alert which interacted with a probably terrified Philando, who just got pulled over, knowing what it means to be a black man at the mercy of an officer. The officer continues to justify “ I told him not to reach for it [gun], yet he kept reaching.” Why? Because as the cop yelled not to reach for the gun, Philando continued to reach for his WALLET.. knowing he wasn’t reaching for his gun. This man, who was just trying to make it out alive, was shot brutally because the police officer had already made up his mind about him. He was dangerous. Black men are dangerous. Black men are criminals. Black men are violent. We have all been taught this. It takes a strong and extended process of constant checking the FACTS to undo the harm of racist America.
Today as I was driving to work, windows down, stopping at a light, a black man approached my car ( who was on the side of the street with a sign), my immediate impulse was to roll up my window, I caught myself mid-way and stopped. I yelled to him, ‘ sorry I don’t have cash’ he yelled back ‘ that’s OK, I just wanted to tell you I think you have cool hair’. Wow. I do not claim to have arrived on the other side of racism, but I have done a lot of work to try to be better, but this shameful moment is another reflection of what has been ingrained in me since birth. Black men are dangerous and/or he was looking for only my money. It’s laughable that I fearfully was rolling up my window to a stranger who just wanted to pay me a compliment. Fuck me.
A fair trial, a fair jury selection, a fair treatment on the street…. Does not happen for black people. I am the problem, you are the problem. One of the jurors, a white woman, never even read REAL news, her news source? People magazine. Really. Her privilege allows her to only read about fantasy super privileged celebrity gossip. She never even heard the name Philando. That black fear was slathered all over that jury I’m sure, which helped a verdict like this one, and so many others around the U.S. before it, and sadly after it. “ If I were in that situation, I would’ve been scared too” ( implying the cop)… well what about the black man with his family, on an errand, on his way home doing no wrong, being pulled over.. Just like my fucked up perceived threat of this man non-aggressively approaching my car this morning to COMPLIMENT me.
Graphic videos are being released more and more, and I hear so many people saying, “ I can’t watch it” and I get it, it’s hard to watch, and our privilege allows us just that. We NEED to watch, it humanizes this experience. We need to check our assumptions and privilege at the door, even when we think we’ve done so much to advance away from racism, we find ourselves starting to roll up the window, again and again. We can’t shut this out and we need to stop making ‘assumptions’ based on what society has taught us. A ‘gut’ feeling of ‘perceived’ threat. No. That’s not truly our gut. That’s our indoctrinated gut. Shoot first. Ask questions later. Clench your wallet, purse a little tighter first, ask questions later. Cross the street first, ask questions later. Justify your PERCIEVED threat, ask NO questions later…and refuse the opportunity to experience the difference and your threat will always be perceived.
Avoidance only hardens, locks in and cements beliefs that are often untrue. We need to ( as a whole) address these assumptions and fears. Find out what is really true. I continue to do my own work, reading, research etc on the racism of this world and the racism I was raised with, and all I can do is urge you all to do the same. We are all human. Somewhere along the fucked up line of existence oppression towards black people began and they have been under the thumb of poverty and half-assed rights for so long. They are angry but more importantly, they are hurt. We need to hurt with them, and stand with them or this will keep happening as it already has been for too long.