Sometimes its like my own dirty little secretthe gameas I need to hide itnot to be seen..to simply be and go un-noticed. But we know thats not how it ever ends. It begins, as simple as a chill running up my spine..the hairs they stand on end.. In the back of my mind..where I do not venture often..instead I hideor at least I tryback therein an instant, I see myselfstruggling to get upto keep on getting up..keeping on keeping onit begins with a sniffle.
The chills are still therethat familiar tinglingit doesnt hurt.making the hairs stand on endits funny how it will sometimes just stays on one spot, that one spot on the side of my headno painno discomfort per se..just a fucking reminder that something is not right..something else is offone more thing to think about what harm can come of one more thingas m y head pulls to the rightIm sorry mamnIm sorry that you forgot to pay your bill for two months and we shut your line offIm sorry Im sitting herewith that fucking reminder mocking me.ignore ignore ignore..its a phase..its all in my mindfiorget the slight differences between the scanswhats another area now darkened. Is that why I dont rememberwhere did this come from.I dont remember writing that.how is it 3:30 in the morningI awake..but not from sleep..from what I do not know.a shadow of a memory..a fleeting distant memory now forgottenjust how did I get here.Yes mamn..I understand that your life depends on your emailrude of ushair stands on end
The swaying beginsdrunk bastard Ive been calledhold it togetherbreathbreath
Are you ok?
N nn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Im stuck.
It encompasses methe chillthe energy pulsating through my bodyeyes fixed stareslowness.heavyness.visions distorted..flowing..pulsating..I sniffle.
Im stuck.
Tears begin to make their way down my cheeksI can not move.
New people..strangerscrowdbreath
I am elsewheredistant and far away.
I want to answer.nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I want to communicate.help meI am far from all right
as snot drips from my nosetears stream.and I screamand scream
far from all right.for I am stuck and I grow weary and tired.
-----------
Happy fucking friday.....
The chills are still therethat familiar tinglingit doesnt hurt.making the hairs stand on endits funny how it will sometimes just stays on one spot, that one spot on the side of my headno painno discomfort per se..just a fucking reminder that something is not right..something else is offone more thing to think about what harm can come of one more thingas m y head pulls to the rightIm sorry mamnIm sorry that you forgot to pay your bill for two months and we shut your line offIm sorry Im sitting herewith that fucking reminder mocking me.ignore ignore ignore..its a phase..its all in my mindfiorget the slight differences between the scanswhats another area now darkened. Is that why I dont rememberwhere did this come from.I dont remember writing that.how is it 3:30 in the morningI awake..but not from sleep..from what I do not know.a shadow of a memory..a fleeting distant memory now forgottenjust how did I get here.Yes mamn..I understand that your life depends on your emailrude of ushair stands on end
The swaying beginsdrunk bastard Ive been calledhold it togetherbreathbreath
Are you ok?
N nn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Im stuck.
It encompasses methe chillthe energy pulsating through my bodyeyes fixed stareslowness.heavyness.visions distorted..flowing..pulsating..I sniffle.
Im stuck.
Tears begin to make their way down my cheeksI can not move.
New people..strangerscrowdbreath
I am elsewheredistant and far away.
I want to answer.nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I want to communicate.help meI am far from all right
as snot drips from my nosetears stream.and I screamand scream
far from all right.for I am stuck and I grow weary and tired.
-----------
Happy fucking friday.....