I feel as if I will die in my sleep. I feel as if I should say goodbye to everyone and everything I love. My heart has been racing all night and controlling my breathing hasn't worked at all. I feel as if I should enjoy every emotion one last time and experience all the things I never did. I feel as if I've lost control of everything and the end is nearing. Not that I will take my own life, but as if my time has come. An impending doom feel. I have questioned if religion was the proper way to live my life, to dedicate myself to a higher being and abide by somebody else's rules. Or if I should just live my life day by day, hoping to end up somewhere that makes me happy. I feel useless, a burden on everyone. My heart is racing, I can feel it pounding in my ears.
To everyone I love. If this is the end and I don't see or talk to you I am sorry it ended this way. I don't know what went wrong, but I think my body will just shut down.
I just found this in my phone, I don't even remember typing it. Fuck this is depressing.