Woke up, a bit tired and dizzy. Everything is as it should, then.
I still haven't gotten used to waking up, alone, in a strange place. I'm getting there, but it's taking some time. Suddenly being alone is a weird experience. Not necessarily a bad one, just... a bit weird.
The process of trying to find yourself again after a twelve year long relationship supposedly takes some time. One of the better tips I received from a friend was simply: "Breathe." So, that's what I'm doing. Breathing. Taking things a day at the time. Trying to find things to fill up the days. Trying to avoid just rotting away in an apartment that isn't quite mine, surrounded by things that aren't mine. Waiting to figure out what to do.
There really are no instruction manuals for things like this. Being in Sweden, you'd have figured someone would have written an IKEA-furniture-assemly-style guidebook for this. Step 1. Pick up the pieces of yourself. Step 2. ??? Step 3. Profit/happiness. Alas, no such guidebook appears to exist. Yet. Perhaps I shall have to write it myself?
At least breathing gets easier by the day, and I'm starting to appreciate whomever I'm turning into. I'm starting to see beauty in the world again, even if it's just in the small things.
The first or second day after the break-up, I managed to get on the wrong train. While riding the train, I folded down the little tray on the seat in front of me, and by sheer luck, someone had left me a helpful message. "Don't forget to be happy."
And while waiting for the returning train, with a scoldingly hot cup of (quite disgusting) take-away coffee, I noticed some scribbling on a nearby bench. "Hate everyone". It felt a bit too generalized for my taste.
Anyway. That's about it from me for today. After an 11 hour long workday, some indian food and one beer, I'm quite wiped. And it's only 9 PM.
See you around, SG.