they taught the fruit how to eat itself
it's been days since i've been able to write. it's been days since i've been able to sleep. i wake up every hour with my heart pounding and the certainty that someone is in the room and laughing at me..
the car was behind me all the way to the metro this morning and actually followed me through the parking lot AFTER i exited my car... oh fuck i'm so scared... it gets worse -- yesterday when i returned to the metro station and went to get into my car the black car was next to mine again and there were no back plates either. so no front plates, no back plates -- no identifying markings of any kind.
i've had a miserable time of it, looking over my shoulder, losing sleep, ever since the car started while i was trying to look through the windshield. so i managed to screw my courage up this time and actually banged on the driver's side window and yelled at the driver to come out of the car (i was half sure someone was going to pop out and shoot me but what the hell right, i'm not going to let this guy torture me). i waited about 30 seconds... nothing. then, as i turned around to get into my car i heard the car door opening behind me. i've never had pins and needles down my spine before... i turned around slowly (at this point my heart is in my throat, my head is pounding and i'm seeing black spots because i'm so fucking scared). when i finish turning around the door is open and the fucking car is EMPTY!
the interior is as black as the exterior but vaguely lit with an amber light, the source of which i couldn't identify, there's one seat, no steering wheel (NO FUCKING STEERING WHEEL!), the dash is a solid black mass of plastic, no gauges no needles no lights no nothing. somehow the worst part (for the moment) is that i was right about the windshield (and all of the other windows for that matter) it was completely opaque. I couldn't see the fucking SUN through it. i'm standing there at 3'o'clock in the afternoon looking into a driverless car with opaque windows, no steering wheel, no dash gauges, and trying to fit it all into my head when THE FUCKING THING STARTS UP... i leapt backwards and nearly went through the passenger side window of my own car! my hands were sweating (despite the fact that it was 20 fucking degrees outside and I was NOT wearing gloves) i felt like i was going to die. i couldn't move, i couldn't breathe i couldn't think straight. that's when i heard -- or thought i heard -- the thing that makes me think i might be going crazy... i swear to god a voice told me to get inside...
that was it, i all but vaulted over the hood of my car started it up and burned the hell out of my clutch launching into reverse with the pedal to the floor.
halfway home i saw the car in my rearview and started crying.... jesus, i need a fucking drink
it's been days since i've been able to write. it's been days since i've been able to sleep. i wake up every hour with my heart pounding and the certainty that someone is in the room and laughing at me..
the car was behind me all the way to the metro this morning and actually followed me through the parking lot AFTER i exited my car... oh fuck i'm so scared... it gets worse -- yesterday when i returned to the metro station and went to get into my car the black car was next to mine again and there were no back plates either. so no front plates, no back plates -- no identifying markings of any kind.
i've had a miserable time of it, looking over my shoulder, losing sleep, ever since the car started while i was trying to look through the windshield. so i managed to screw my courage up this time and actually banged on the driver's side window and yelled at the driver to come out of the car (i was half sure someone was going to pop out and shoot me but what the hell right, i'm not going to let this guy torture me). i waited about 30 seconds... nothing. then, as i turned around to get into my car i heard the car door opening behind me. i've never had pins and needles down my spine before... i turned around slowly (at this point my heart is in my throat, my head is pounding and i'm seeing black spots because i'm so fucking scared). when i finish turning around the door is open and the fucking car is EMPTY!
the interior is as black as the exterior but vaguely lit with an amber light, the source of which i couldn't identify, there's one seat, no steering wheel (NO FUCKING STEERING WHEEL!), the dash is a solid black mass of plastic, no gauges no needles no lights no nothing. somehow the worst part (for the moment) is that i was right about the windshield (and all of the other windows for that matter) it was completely opaque. I couldn't see the fucking SUN through it. i'm standing there at 3'o'clock in the afternoon looking into a driverless car with opaque windows, no steering wheel, no dash gauges, and trying to fit it all into my head when THE FUCKING THING STARTS UP... i leapt backwards and nearly went through the passenger side window of my own car! my hands were sweating (despite the fact that it was 20 fucking degrees outside and I was NOT wearing gloves) i felt like i was going to die. i couldn't move, i couldn't breathe i couldn't think straight. that's when i heard -- or thought i heard -- the thing that makes me think i might be going crazy... i swear to god a voice told me to get inside...
that was it, i all but vaulted over the hood of my car started it up and burned the hell out of my clutch launching into reverse with the pedal to the floor.
halfway home i saw the car in my rearview and started crying.... jesus, i need a fucking drink