Inexplicable
the sound
a body beside me
makes
the steady in
and release
of breath
the subtle whisper of cotton sheets
imagine or remember
how it fills a room
and then know
the absence of
I hardly hear my own breath
but always the
mono-drone of electrical current
coursing through these walls
hear it
feel it
my guardian consciousness
prison keeper
I wonder
what power
less might be
like
exact darkness
quiet enough to hear the flickering
candle flame beside my bed
now:
the sweep scrape stop swish
sweep scrape
of the pen across this paper
I think I hear anticipation
when the pen stops
more nothing
quiet frantic the next word
struggles out of my head
spiraling down my neck
across my shoulder
slips down my arm
into my hand
through my fingers
from this pen
blue life trickles out before my blue eyes
free at last
What sound does blue make?
I talk to myself when Im alone
the human voice is more
than music
it is melody and afterbirth
outside me
silence builds in my ears
begins to spin
to tunnel in
life
without sound
becomes
an empty page
an idea unrealized
something that was almost
becomes
the loss of
I am not a glass jar
or prison
Ill break before I let this quiet
keep me
A soft snap in the distance
pricks my skin
and I am more
aware
more
everything
in that moment
some dark corner of my house
settling
into
being
Its suddenly so clear: Sound is life
I embrace
the simple sigh of
warm peppermint tea
the tingle of ginger
smooth honey
glides over my lips
across my tongue
down my throat
my tongue rests against the back
of my teeth
completes the circuit of energy
celebrating
life
taste
imagine or remember
mouth is sex
lips on skin
and tongue
and teeth
biting
scraping lightly
no taste like a kiss
I cringe when I see a dog
walking on the side of a road
or an empty wine glass in my mothers sink
I believed
she hated me wanted me
to disappear
Im afraid shes in me now
and terrified shes not
I cringe when I see a man with clenched fists
the same man stands on every corner
holding a bible in his hands
I know
he wants those Words to crush me
to strip my mind raw
bleed me neatly into his cross-shaped box
seal me shut
my back to him
I turn and turn
imagine remember?
teeth scraping
against
not skin
brick
a desperate attempt to taste
to feel
to eat these walls
as I crumble
promised dust
gods divine mortar
the sound
a body beside me
makes
the steady in
and release
of breath
the subtle whisper of cotton sheets
imagine or remember
how it fills a room
and then know
the absence of
I hardly hear my own breath
but always the
mono-drone of electrical current
coursing through these walls
hear it
feel it
my guardian consciousness
prison keeper
I wonder
what power
less might be
like
exact darkness
quiet enough to hear the flickering
candle flame beside my bed
now:
the sweep scrape stop swish
sweep scrape
of the pen across this paper
I think I hear anticipation
when the pen stops
more nothing
quiet frantic the next word
struggles out of my head
spiraling down my neck
across my shoulder
slips down my arm
into my hand
through my fingers
from this pen
blue life trickles out before my blue eyes
free at last
What sound does blue make?
I talk to myself when Im alone
the human voice is more
than music
it is melody and afterbirth
outside me
silence builds in my ears
begins to spin
to tunnel in
life
without sound
becomes
an empty page
an idea unrealized
something that was almost
becomes
the loss of
I am not a glass jar
or prison
Ill break before I let this quiet
keep me
A soft snap in the distance
pricks my skin
and I am more
aware
more
everything
in that moment
some dark corner of my house
settling
into
being
Its suddenly so clear: Sound is life
I embrace
the simple sigh of
warm peppermint tea
the tingle of ginger
smooth honey
glides over my lips
across my tongue
down my throat
my tongue rests against the back
of my teeth
completes the circuit of energy
celebrating
life
taste
imagine or remember
mouth is sex
lips on skin
and tongue
and teeth
biting
scraping lightly
no taste like a kiss
I cringe when I see a dog
walking on the side of a road
or an empty wine glass in my mothers sink
I believed
she hated me wanted me
to disappear
Im afraid shes in me now
and terrified shes not
I cringe when I see a man with clenched fists
the same man stands on every corner
holding a bible in his hands
I know
he wants those Words to crush me
to strip my mind raw
bleed me neatly into his cross-shaped box
seal me shut
my back to him
I turn and turn
imagine remember?
teeth scraping
against
not skin
brick
a desperate attempt to taste
to feel
to eat these walls
as I crumble
promised dust
gods divine mortar