twentythree

Reading the comments on any of the "News" listings on this site is a mistake.
They are always full of opinions from people who think that they are a.) clever, or b.) important.
Fucking spare me.

So I went to see Depeche Mode and they were very good and all that but something funny happened while I was at the show.
I was standing in a long ass line at the merchandise counter and this girl, I think she must have been 18 or 19, comes up to me and asks if I will buy her a shirt after I finally...
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I think it's somewhat suspicious that everyone's boyfriend/girlfriend is really "special."
These people are always "the most amazing person" or "unlike anyone else" and I find that to be kinda dubious.
I mean, how many special people are out there?
And if there are so many, how is it that anyone is really special anymore?
You can't stand out as being amazing if every other...
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Here's a few things I don't like:

1.) People that use the term "pro-choice."
Everything is "pro-choice."
Deciding to eat an orange instead of an apple makes you pro-choice.
If you are pro-ABORTION, then just say it.
There's nothing wrong with it.
You don't need to use some weak American euphamism to soften your opinion.
Personally, I am all for abortion.
In fact, I wish...
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If I were a cat, I think I'd like for my name to be Mr. Pumkinpuss.
I think that's a pretty suitable name for a cat.
I think I would wear a bowtie also.
If I were a cat.

The radio station the manager at my work has been keeping it on is called "Smooth Jazz."
On the Smooth Jazz you might hear Kenny G. followed by John Tesh followed by a muzak version of a Mr. Mister song.
Truly, there is nothing more awful.
The Smooth Jazz sucks the life out of you bit by bit and leaves a gaping black hole where...
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Do you remember those trick candles that you could blow out but then they'd just light up again?
And sometimes someone thought it was funny to put those on somebody's birthday cake, so they'd be blowing and blowing but the candles would stay lit?
I think those candles ought to be put on every child's cake at a very early age, say at about the...
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Doesn't it seem as if assholes really get ahead in life?
I mean, rich people are very nearly always assholes.
My boss is an asshole.
He is as about as clever as a potato.
As interesting as dirt.
Has the sense of humor of an ingrown toenail.
And is a woman-hating ego-maniac.
The assistant manager is a rapist scumbag...
And yet both of these guys...
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If only I had a vagina.
Then I would have a ton of friends.
To steal from.