i used to be so fucking passionate about writing, but i was an unhappy child and it was always just easier to write a metaphor for how shitty life was than it was to just fucking deal with it. now i've resorted to boring and mediocre rambles plastered here to fill up space. somedays i wish i could be sad again just so i could write one fucking good prose, but how can anyone be sad when they are waking up to a gorgeous baby every morning and are hopelessly in love with a sexy sunkist_sudafed. i only wish i could have learnt how to write so passionately when everything was wonderful, but i've always been attracted to melancholy; happiness never ceases to intrigue me. maybe i just need a story to tell..... so i spent the night reading old poetry and dirty prose. when i was finished reading the 7 years worth of words i had a knot in my stomach - it brought up a lot of emotions i forgot i had... i guess after 7 years of broken brending hearts, i still haven't found closure.
i think i'll spend my maternity leave making a book of all my old works; hopefully this will inspire me to start writing again because i really miss that part of me.
also, while going through all my old goodies, i found a funny story that happend the winter i taught snowboarding in nakiska that i had completely forgot about and made me crack up... (this is NOTTTTT an example of "passionate writing" that i was referring to, but maybe sometime in the near future i will share an example.)
i think i'll spend my maternity leave making a book of all my old works; hopefully this will inspire me to start writing again because i really miss that part of me.
also, while going through all my old goodies, i found a funny story that happend the winter i taught snowboarding in nakiska that i had completely forgot about and made me crack up... (this is NOTTTTT an example of "passionate writing" that i was referring to, but maybe sometime in the near future i will share an example.)
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it was kinda relationship-y. we talked about books and authors and music and got it on while listening to the white stripes in a greenhouse with plants and a hot tub and huge windows. hes a super rad dude and i'm glad i am getting to know him better - he just better not mess with my vulnerable lil self too much!! i can't take any mind games, drama, or rejection, and when ya get close to someone else there is always the risk of that happening - unfortunately! meh.