I just feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of me. I can't even explain it. I guess I never realized just how badly I needed a friend. And not just any friend. I just needed to talk to Andrew. I just needed someone who made me feel like the old me, who had no idea what has been going on in the last few years. Someone who has no expectations, who makes me feel confident when I usually feel self-concious. Someone who I never feel judged around. I just needed to sit and talk over coffee until all hours of the morning with someone who I could laugh with about the "old days" and talk about nothing with.
I needed someone to remind me of the good aspects of myself. And, as nerdy as it may sound, make me realize the inner "cool girl".
"you're just like my male friend with boobs" "you're not like all those other crazy girls, you're cool"
I never would have applied those phrases to me, ever. But I really needed to hear them from someone. Even if it was an ex-fuck buddy. We never needed to explain anything to each other, we never needed commitment, we just had fun. And we still do, even just as friends without the benefits.
I stayed out until six am with someone, just hanging out. I just got home a little while ago and cried. I had no idea how much I had needed that. I had no idea where the carefree, have fun, whatever, cool part of me went. Andrew always manages to revive the confidence in me.
I needed someone to see me through the eyes of 2003-2004. Someone that did not know what had changed, who had no idea I changed at all because I always act like the me from years ago around them.
I feel so relieved.
I needed someone to remind me of the good aspects of myself. And, as nerdy as it may sound, make me realize the inner "cool girl".
"you're just like my male friend with boobs" "you're not like all those other crazy girls, you're cool"
I never would have applied those phrases to me, ever. But I really needed to hear them from someone. Even if it was an ex-fuck buddy. We never needed to explain anything to each other, we never needed commitment, we just had fun. And we still do, even just as friends without the benefits.
I stayed out until six am with someone, just hanging out. I just got home a little while ago and cried. I had no idea how much I had needed that. I had no idea where the carefree, have fun, whatever, cool part of me went. Andrew always manages to revive the confidence in me.
I needed someone to see me through the eyes of 2003-2004. Someone that did not know what had changed, who had no idea I changed at all because I always act like the me from years ago around them.
I feel so relieved.
nicklesanddimes3:
good for you