been going through some major changes in life... my small business ownership experience is coming to an end... during which time i had lost the love of my life... it was a life changing experience... both of those events... and i guess i wouldnt change it for the world... but its been a very hard change of events to deal with emotionally...
ive started to socialize with my ex on a normal level again... i have calmed down... to a degree... but it still pains me every conversation, every memory, everything that she does that reminds me why i love her so much, every time i think about what could be going on that i dont know about, etc... lol... you know typical sob emotional crap... if its not typical... try not to judge me... lol...
i am trying to "fix" me in this process... do some "self realization" type things... try to figure out why i have done what i have done... what motivates me... what do i want... how do i wanna get there... so on and so forth... i find it best to attempt to learn from all the negative happenings in life... try to take something from it... to imagine that i am perfect is unrealistic... clearly something i did wrong has led to these negative events... i made a bad decision maybe, allowed the wrong things to happen, focused on the wrong things, ignored the right things, etc... if i can take something away from these experiences than the suffering/negativity was not in vain...
i have a job lined up... i am waiting to hear back about the drug test/background test... and see when things will get started... its going to be a stressful couple months regardless of what happens due to dealing with lots of changes and continual emotional strain... cant let it get the best of me and have to keep the positivity alive...
forgive me if this sounds like rambling... this is my first ever "blog" type thing... but these are the things that are on my mind... i imagine blurting them out like this will hopefully bring some comfort to what is going down and get some things off the chest...
til next time...
ive started to socialize with my ex on a normal level again... i have calmed down... to a degree... but it still pains me every conversation, every memory, everything that she does that reminds me why i love her so much, every time i think about what could be going on that i dont know about, etc... lol... you know typical sob emotional crap... if its not typical... try not to judge me... lol...
i am trying to "fix" me in this process... do some "self realization" type things... try to figure out why i have done what i have done... what motivates me... what do i want... how do i wanna get there... so on and so forth... i find it best to attempt to learn from all the negative happenings in life... try to take something from it... to imagine that i am perfect is unrealistic... clearly something i did wrong has led to these negative events... i made a bad decision maybe, allowed the wrong things to happen, focused on the wrong things, ignored the right things, etc... if i can take something away from these experiences than the suffering/negativity was not in vain...
i have a job lined up... i am waiting to hear back about the drug test/background test... and see when things will get started... its going to be a stressful couple months regardless of what happens due to dealing with lots of changes and continual emotional strain... cant let it get the best of me and have to keep the positivity alive...
forgive me if this sounds like rambling... this is my first ever "blog" type thing... but these are the things that are on my mind... i imagine blurting them out like this will hopefully bring some comfort to what is going down and get some things off the chest...
til next time...