Hi there.
This girl just totally crushed me, but that's beside the point. Don't bother sympathizing--if anything, ridicule me and make me feel like a total jackass for even bringing it up. Heap your abuse on my head. Flay my foolish skin with your rapier wit and let my heart shrivel and twist in the searing flame of your merciless scorn.
Boo fucking hoo.
But check this out. Recently I took an opportunity to play a role in my friend's upcoming movie. It's about satanic pigeons. Around 11PM, I took everybody out to a rather desolate road near Watkinsville. We set up there and filmed a scene underneath an arc-sodium streetlight wherein the protagonist, (a pigeonslayer) is attacked by two evil ninja assassins(sent by the pigeons, of course).
It went something like this:
--slayer, having just wrecked his car, is walking down road towards camera
--ninja1(me) runs across screen behind slayer
--as slayer spins around to look, ninja2 runs across right in front of camera
--slayer spins to face camera again and slowly draws katana
--ninja1 charges in from roadside brush, stabbing from behind at slayer's torso
--slayer turns and deflects stab to the left side; ninja1 spins and jumps forward slightly into a low reverse slice at slayer's left ankle; slayer jumps
--insert effects shot of slayer doing super-pimp-ass leap over ninja1 and landing facing ninja1 from behind
--ninja1 turns and rises from low stance to face slayer; slayer delivers front thrust kick to ninja1's chest; ninja1 tumbles backward
--ninja2 rushes in; slayer turns to bear down with an overhead slash; the two lock swords
--slayer quickly strikes ninja2's chin with sword butt and turns cutting edge towards ninja2's hand; slayer sharply slices downward
--insert shot of fake hand being mutilated(the ninja-esque swords we used lacked the handguards, or tsuba, which are often associated with Japanese swords)
--ninja2 staggers aside to reveal ninja1 running up once again behind slayer
--slayer looks over shoulder and stabs backwards without turning, catching ninja1 in torso
--insert shot of ninja2 fumbling with left hand, drawing a dagger, and charging
--ninja1 clutches protruding sword and staggers forward slightly; slayer releases hilt as ninja2 runs at him with an overhead stab
--slayer steps forward and to the right, sweeping both hands in a counterclockwise motion to deflect ninja2's arm; slayer follows motion through, driving the dagger-wielding hand into ninja2's stomach; slayer rips dagger upward
--insert shot of ropey guts spilling on asphalt
--ninja2 falls, slayer steps backwards once without turning, grabbing the sword embedded in the still-staggering ninja1
--slayer twists sword and steps forward, ripping out horizontally through ninja1's ribs
--insert blood spray across night sky
--ninja1 falls; slayer wipes and sheathes sword, then walks onward
It actually looked pretty cool and only took about an hour-and-a-half to film. My ninja cohort and I were a bit worried about the protagonist's lack of martial arts training, fearing he might actually stab us. He ended up shredding his hand a bit on the deflection of the dagger, but other than that it was OK. I only had to get kicked and fall four times.
About three cars drove by, two of which slowed down a bit, most likely wondering why masked people were on the roadside brandishing swords.
In a month or two we'll get together again, this time for an epic battle scene between an evil pigeon-possessed warrior(me) and an ally of the pigeonslayer (ninja2, my friend).
It looks like I'll be moving to the Atlanta area in August. Where, I'm not sure. Hopefully there are many places at which an enterprising geneticist may find work.
I'm certainly looking forward to that first fat-ass paycheck. I suppose the grad school stipend isn't too bad, but before that there were years of busting ass for shitty pay while going to college, whether it was tossing pizzas in the kitchen or slinging radioisotope in the hot room. The idea of actually being able to accumulate wealth rather than having it run through one's fingers is intriguing.
I'm beginning to ramble and I should probably go back to being pathetic for a while.
But first, an anecdote: My friend Mike has had several fibrous strands of shredded dental floss stuck between two of his molars for three weeks.
I thought this an irony worthy of sharing.
Ya'll take care now.
This girl just totally crushed me, but that's beside the point. Don't bother sympathizing--if anything, ridicule me and make me feel like a total jackass for even bringing it up. Heap your abuse on my head. Flay my foolish skin with your rapier wit and let my heart shrivel and twist in the searing flame of your merciless scorn.
Boo fucking hoo.
But check this out. Recently I took an opportunity to play a role in my friend's upcoming movie. It's about satanic pigeons. Around 11PM, I took everybody out to a rather desolate road near Watkinsville. We set up there and filmed a scene underneath an arc-sodium streetlight wherein the protagonist, (a pigeonslayer) is attacked by two evil ninja assassins(sent by the pigeons, of course).
It went something like this:
--slayer, having just wrecked his car, is walking down road towards camera
--ninja1(me) runs across screen behind slayer
--as slayer spins around to look, ninja2 runs across right in front of camera
--slayer spins to face camera again and slowly draws katana
--ninja1 charges in from roadside brush, stabbing from behind at slayer's torso
--slayer turns and deflects stab to the left side; ninja1 spins and jumps forward slightly into a low reverse slice at slayer's left ankle; slayer jumps
--insert effects shot of slayer doing super-pimp-ass leap over ninja1 and landing facing ninja1 from behind
--ninja1 turns and rises from low stance to face slayer; slayer delivers front thrust kick to ninja1's chest; ninja1 tumbles backward
--ninja2 rushes in; slayer turns to bear down with an overhead slash; the two lock swords
--slayer quickly strikes ninja2's chin with sword butt and turns cutting edge towards ninja2's hand; slayer sharply slices downward
--insert shot of fake hand being mutilated(the ninja-esque swords we used lacked the handguards, or tsuba, which are often associated with Japanese swords)
--ninja2 staggers aside to reveal ninja1 running up once again behind slayer
--slayer looks over shoulder and stabs backwards without turning, catching ninja1 in torso
--insert shot of ninja2 fumbling with left hand, drawing a dagger, and charging
--ninja1 clutches protruding sword and staggers forward slightly; slayer releases hilt as ninja2 runs at him with an overhead stab
--slayer steps forward and to the right, sweeping both hands in a counterclockwise motion to deflect ninja2's arm; slayer follows motion through, driving the dagger-wielding hand into ninja2's stomach; slayer rips dagger upward
--insert shot of ropey guts spilling on asphalt
--ninja2 falls, slayer steps backwards once without turning, grabbing the sword embedded in the still-staggering ninja1
--slayer twists sword and steps forward, ripping out horizontally through ninja1's ribs
--insert blood spray across night sky
--ninja1 falls; slayer wipes and sheathes sword, then walks onward
It actually looked pretty cool and only took about an hour-and-a-half to film. My ninja cohort and I were a bit worried about the protagonist's lack of martial arts training, fearing he might actually stab us. He ended up shredding his hand a bit on the deflection of the dagger, but other than that it was OK. I only had to get kicked and fall four times.
About three cars drove by, two of which slowed down a bit, most likely wondering why masked people were on the roadside brandishing swords.
In a month or two we'll get together again, this time for an epic battle scene between an evil pigeon-possessed warrior(me) and an ally of the pigeonslayer (ninja2, my friend).
It looks like I'll be moving to the Atlanta area in August. Where, I'm not sure. Hopefully there are many places at which an enterprising geneticist may find work.
I'm certainly looking forward to that first fat-ass paycheck. I suppose the grad school stipend isn't too bad, but before that there were years of busting ass for shitty pay while going to college, whether it was tossing pizzas in the kitchen or slinging radioisotope in the hot room. The idea of actually being able to accumulate wealth rather than having it run through one's fingers is intriguing.
I'm beginning to ramble and I should probably go back to being pathetic for a while.
But first, an anecdote: My friend Mike has had several fibrous strands of shredded dental floss stuck between two of his molars for three weeks.
I thought this an irony worthy of sharing.
Ya'll take care now.
I think we're having a housewarming party sometime soon, I'll let you know when.