skyystarr

change the boyfriend for a girlfriend

Ok I've got to jump on the band wagon here but I'm not going to play this "you deserve better date me!" Kind of bull shit your hot and I'd love to think I had a chance if I could just bump him out of the way right... but probably not going to happen so I'm just going to be brutally honest and give the unpopular option to such a rant but before I do don't get me wrong let him know how you feel and not angry (as that's secondary emotion) but that it hurts your feeling and brings to surface your own insecurities and fears by his actions then try and simply understand him and not just him but people in general and how they have to pay homage to the shadow is someway or it will come out in damaging ways as it is in your situation but it could be worst now I know your probably going to think I'm full of shit but I've read your profile we've exchanged of few responses (which I've been mean to get to writing you back sorry) and I know your in to video games and your young and more about having fun than reading crap about understanding the dark side of the psyche as I really doubt your in to Jungian psychology but in my own uneducated, un-eloquent way I'll try and explain in my humble option why your BF is acting out in such a way. First you need to understand "the shadow" if you've ever read any Jung he has set forth the concept of archetypes. In psychology, an archetype is a model of a person, personality, or behavior.
Jung outlined four main archetypes:
The Self or ego, the regulating center of the psyche and facilitator of individuation
The Shadow, the opposite of the ego image, often containing qualities that the ego does not identify with but possess nonetheless
The Anima, the feminine image in a man's psyche
The Animus, the masculine image in a woman's psyche
Now to understand the Shadow: the shadow or "shadow aspect" is a part of the unconscious mind which is mysterious and often disagreeable to the conscious mind, but which is also relatively close to the conscious mind. It may be (in part) one's link to animal life, which is superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind; afterwards it comes to contain thoughts that are repressed by the conscious mind. According to Jung, the shadow is instinctive and irrational, but is not necessarily evil even when it might appear to be so. With this being understood think of the shadow as the underlining desires that a person has repressed do to some social or moral obligation we don't express or allow to be seen. You have understand, that we all have a shadow and is of equal importance and influence in us as our conscious self and ego are. There is this parable I forget from where that illustrates the point I'm going to make in a minute very well I'll give you the abridged version it's a story about a spring this spring bubbled up with the most miraculous tasting water you ever had, almost magical or powerful. People came to this water to drink and soon people bought all the land around it and fenced it in and wanted to charge admission to drink this upset the spring so it stopped flowing and simply bubbled up in another area once again people found it and relished in its power until once again people found it and fenced it in and hide it so it stopped flowing this went on and on over and over again how this relates is the spring is like the shadow you can hid it and try and suppress it but it will always flow and just find a different area to come out and one must be careful or it will come out in places that you really don't want it to and cause damage to you or others. So, one must pay some homage to your "shadow". To your darker self to those thing and thoughts and behaviors that are not always of the highest ideal of self because you can't remove its part of you. To take this a step further and bring it around to your situation your guy like I would assume all people would love to give in to his lower self and give in to lust and fuck every beautiful woman in the world. Now why doesn't he well lots of reasons, not every girl will let him, there's concern of diseases and probably more importantly he's in love with you and his conscious mind knows that if you go's out fucking every hot chick that lets him it will hurt you and make you feel "bad" (number of debates I could go through on why this makes you feel bad but that's for a different dissertation) So what does he now do with this mostly unconscious desire? Dose he simply hide it and pretend that its not there until its so hidden he doesn't know where its at and its bubbling up in some other negative way weather that a resentment of your relationship, or sexually harassing the cute girl at work or a million other places it can find an out let or would you prefer he simply sends some dirty text messages, or looks and flirts with sexy pictures on myspace? Now look there's probably some better things he could do so don't get me wrong but in reality he probably doesn't dig as deep as I have just delved in to his own psyche to be aware of such things so with out some soul searching him self I doubt he will but at least maybe you'll have a better understanding of him and possibly your self as unless you peter fucking pan no one can escape your shadow..