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I love my job because its just so opposite so to modeling.

And honestly... why not find a woman who can do both.

I love getting my hands dirty and being in a labour intensive job. As well as working on my own vehicles when things need to get done.

But I also love modeling and how it lets me hold on to my femininity....
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"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."

~J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I have a hard time keeping eye contact with people most days. The reason for that I suspect, is because I don't want them to see. To see me holding all of my emotions unable to
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It seems that I'm learning more and more everyday that I can't move forward without giving something up.

It's frustrating. And most times when I realize this i get angry. Mostly angry with myself for not being able to always handle an overflowing plate.

Like taking on a new career that doesn't leave time for some of my favorite things. Giving up something that you...
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Sorry I've been mia the last few days. Started a new job that's long hours so finding time to post between work and sleep has proven to been difficult 💖

Super exhausted but loving being back in the trades learning about working on mining equipment.

Duel trades ticket here I come! 🤓

~~~~~

Anywho, my second suicide girls set "Dreaming of Time and Space" was...
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I spend a lot of time hiding this side of myself, but sometimes I realize that I shouldn't. This is what makes me human. This is what makes me, me. Depression is a part of who I am. And I am not ashamed of that. I have my demons, sometimes they whisper in my ear, sometimes they scream at me. But I'm also reminded that
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"She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful,...
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1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Coffee

2. Where was your profile picture taken? @haileigh's house during my last a good with her 💜

3. Worst physical pain you’ve had? Crushed the ends of my fingers in a hydraulic powered vice on a band saw.

4. Favorite place you have been? Cuba

5. How late did you stay up last...
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The mornings that you wake up shaking and crying and don't know why. Where you want to scream to someone, anyone, for help, but don't want to be a bother to the people in your life. When you feel completely alone in the world... but yesterday you felt great, like nothing could ever be wrong.

It's the days that make you scared to be happy,
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I said I was gunna do more blogs and failed hard haha. Well here's another attempt. They may not be close together but they will happen.

So here's for some brutal honesty about what life has been like for me lately. Great! But I have not been.

That's the thing about mental illness, on paper things are perfect but in your head they couldn't be
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