So I just read the blogs that fear and skull (not tagging them if they want to keep what was said private) posted, and I'm very taken aback. Granted, I didn't have quite the level of interaction with those two ladies that a lot of you did, but it's still shocking to realize that someone who you have talked to for a good length of time wasn't who they said they were. And, if there was any site that welcomed people for being just who they are, especially if they didn't "fit in" among the other people in their lives, it is this one. WE are the outcasts, the rebels, the artists, the "freaks" and revolutionaries.
I've never understood the need for people to lie to others. Now, I'm not talking about sharing everything about yourself with every person you meet, but after time, once you feel comfortable, there should be few secrets between those who call each other friends. It's the truth. If you can't trust your friends, who can you trust? For a lot of people, their blood family may come with issues, baggage, things of that sort. People who have known you for years and still see you the way you used to be.
With friends, they see you as you are now. These are people that you CHOOSE to have around you, who (for some) become family and sometimes even closer than family. My group of friends, whom I've had for almost 8 years now, I'm so glad they never met the old me, the one I used to be about 10 years ago. I hated that guy, which is why I changed. There's nothing wrong with changing and growing, with abandoning behaviors that weren't healthy and adapting new ones. That's part of life.
But lying ruins things. It makes people doubt if the connection they thought they had was ever real, if anything you ever talked about was true or if it was all a big joke. Lies break apart relationships and make it that much harder to trust someone, since a little voice inside the back of your head may be saying, "What if this is just another liar? What if none of the things they are saying are true, and they are just running a con or a prank?" The more times you get lied to, the harder it is to silence that voice.
Me, I'm bluntly honest, always have been. I've shared pictures of my book that I wrote under my real name, I posted a picture of my son and I on a field trip to the Grand Canyon. I don't hide anything. Then again, it's taking me a long time to get to where I am now, to be happy with myself and who I am, to accept my previous decisions and to understand that regret won't give me the ability to take those bad decisions back and redo them. I just hope that those of you who are reading this don't give up on us or this site just because of a couple bad apples (as it were). But, if you do, I wish you all the best in your life and hope that you get everything you ever want. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Much love.