Venting, Thinking out loud, I need help, advice, words of encouragement, something.......
I think there's something wrong with me. I don't feel like I want to be with my husband anymore, then there's another part of me that feels like I have to stay. I do love him I just don't know if it's the same way I loved him before.
Am I just with him because we've been together for 4 years and I've gotten cofortable or used to him being there? I know that I could be happy without him, I know that I it would be hard to be a sigle mom, and would it be far to our son if I left his father.
If I were to leave would he want to take Isaac away from me instead of having joint custody?
Where would I go, would I stay in Beaverton and keep my current job? Would it be better to move in with my mother temporarily and get a job and an apartment out on the Oregon Coast?
Part of me feels that we could stay together and co exist just fine for a while, but is that a healthy environement to raise a child, would being seperated or devorced make it any better?
I have all of these questons and more running through my head, alot of what if's. Does that mean it's time for me to go, or should I just push them all away and go on living my life the way everyone thinks I should.
I felt like crying last night when my husband and I we being intimate, not because I was happy, but because I think at that moment I realized that I don't want to be with him the way I should, but more like I have to be with him.
He and I had a huge fight on Father's day, that carried over to Monday after work. And I don't think I've been able to get past the arguement as quickly as I normaly get over things, whereas he seems to feel that since we talked about things everything is better. It's funny because it's usually reversed.
I think there's something wrong with me. I don't feel like I want to be with my husband anymore, then there's another part of me that feels like I have to stay. I do love him I just don't know if it's the same way I loved him before.
Am I just with him because we've been together for 4 years and I've gotten cofortable or used to him being there? I know that I could be happy without him, I know that I it would be hard to be a sigle mom, and would it be far to our son if I left his father.
If I were to leave would he want to take Isaac away from me instead of having joint custody?
Where would I go, would I stay in Beaverton and keep my current job? Would it be better to move in with my mother temporarily and get a job and an apartment out on the Oregon Coast?
Part of me feels that we could stay together and co exist just fine for a while, but is that a healthy environement to raise a child, would being seperated or devorced make it any better?
I have all of these questons and more running through my head, alot of what if's. Does that mean it's time for me to go, or should I just push them all away and go on living my life the way everyone thinks I should.
I felt like crying last night when my husband and I we being intimate, not because I was happy, but because I think at that moment I realized that I don't want to be with him the way I should, but more like I have to be with him.
He and I had a huge fight on Father's day, that carried over to Monday after work. And I don't think I've been able to get past the arguement as quickly as I normaly get over things, whereas he seems to feel that since we talked about things everything is better. It's funny because it's usually reversed.
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I've been there (minus the child, of course). I know it's hard, and that there's a lot of pressure on to fix things, stick it out, honor your vows and your commitments. There's no easy way to deal with those, whatever you decide.
*hugs*
In the end you know what you are feeling and you need to do what is best for yourself.