ok kids, its time for another episode of polly_jeans dating life. yeah, sit the fuck down.
so, when i was unemployed, someone got me turned on to match.com - i.e. welfare for hot chicks. free dinner, free drinks, and most of those places dont take food stamps. so, now when im bored, i still do it. so i started talking to this guy a few nights ago and decided to go out with him tonight. i met him at the bar tonight, and, ok, hes cute! i can totally see myself fucking this boy. this is gonna be a great night. we spend over an hour just sitting and talking. everything is great. then, he has to go to the bathroom. but first, he has to tell me something. he has a limp. a limp? ok, im down with Keyser Soze. i told him i dont care and looked away when he went to the bathroom cause i didnt want to make him feel uncomfortable. so, we decided to move on to another bar. we get up to go and, wait, where is the rest of him? i was always taught if the last digit is five or higher, you round up. but if youre fucking 5 ft 7, you dont fucking say youre 6 ft tall. so, now its weird. and a limp? doesnt a limp just mean dragging a foot? since when are spasms included in that? so here i am walking with my short little special olympian, and i decided to call him out on it. i said, by the way, youre not 6 ft tall. he said hes 5 ft 10. i said bullshit. he said youre in heels. i showed him my shoes. i said, if they were any flatter, i would be in the ground. then, maybe he could be 5 ft 10. i was so fucking pissed. we went to the other bar. i went to the bathroom to make plans for where else i could go, broke the news to the little yellow bus traveler, hailed him a cab, and left. i was going to meet up with rybear but im too fucking pissed and tired now. seriously, im done dating
so, when i was unemployed, someone got me turned on to match.com - i.e. welfare for hot chicks. free dinner, free drinks, and most of those places dont take food stamps. so, now when im bored, i still do it. so i started talking to this guy a few nights ago and decided to go out with him tonight. i met him at the bar tonight, and, ok, hes cute! i can totally see myself fucking this boy. this is gonna be a great night. we spend over an hour just sitting and talking. everything is great. then, he has to go to the bathroom. but first, he has to tell me something. he has a limp. a limp? ok, im down with Keyser Soze. i told him i dont care and looked away when he went to the bathroom cause i didnt want to make him feel uncomfortable. so, we decided to move on to another bar. we get up to go and, wait, where is the rest of him? i was always taught if the last digit is five or higher, you round up. but if youre fucking 5 ft 7, you dont fucking say youre 6 ft tall. so, now its weird. and a limp? doesnt a limp just mean dragging a foot? since when are spasms included in that? so here i am walking with my short little special olympian, and i decided to call him out on it. i said, by the way, youre not 6 ft tall. he said hes 5 ft 10. i said bullshit. he said youre in heels. i showed him my shoes. i said, if they were any flatter, i would be in the ground. then, maybe he could be 5 ft 10. i was so fucking pissed. we went to the other bar. i went to the bathroom to make plans for where else i could go, broke the news to the little yellow bus traveler, hailed him a cab, and left. i was going to meet up with rybear but im too fucking pissed and tired now. seriously, im done dating
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score me -3 you-0 and single