"whatever you are, be a good one" -abraham lincoln
i just got back from vegas and the AVN convention there. i stayed with johnny soporno, harlequin and a handful of fellas looking to improve their "game". the pickup elite, if you will.
in case you weren't aware, there's a whole on-line community of aspiring pick-up artists exchanging ideas, techniques and philosophies for attracting women- double your dating, the worthy playboy institute, the mystery method, real social dynamics, stylelife, vin dicarlo, etc.
basically, the aim is to figure out what women want and give it to them. everyone who studies "the game", in any serious way, eventually reaches the same conclusion... it's all about mindset. for years women have told us fellas to just 'be yourself' and it's true. that's all there is to it.
"deep at the center of your being you have the answer- you know who you are and what you want." -lao tzu
of course, this is often easier said than done. we live in a culture that programs us with all sorts of fucked up ideas of who we should be and what we should want. those who sleep with whomever they please are often frowned upon as 'sluts.' the phrase 'i love you' is often mis-heard as 'i own you.' undue value has been assigned to monogamy, virginity, chastity, etc... we live in a disney-fied culture where anything 'adult' is viewed as taboo and a guilty pleasure. this doesn't keep folks from sleeping around and pursuing the same carnal pleasures they always have, but it does leave many feeling guilty, ashamed and confused by their own desires. this, in turn, leads to deception, infidelity, selfishness and a lack of honesty.
so, when a girl says, 'be yourself,' realize that's a pretty tall order for many men. for thousands of years, women needed men to provide for them, 'bring home the bacon', protect them, etc. those days are long gone. a woman doesn't even need a man to have baby anymore. many women still WANT a man, but they no longer NEED us as they used to. this has left many men feeling useless. if he can't buy a woman's affection with the promise of security, what else could he possibly have to offer?
but there is one thing women will always need men for... to appreciate them; to celebrate them; to provide companionship and affection without asking for anything in return. women love a man who can take responsibility for his own needs and find his sense of worth on the inside.
after 30+ years, the sexual revolution is still going on- women lobbying for their freedom and men, in their insecurity, refusing to let go of the outdated concept of love-as-ownership.
"you complete me" may sound romantic, but it's founded on a fallacy. there is no ONE person in the world who can provide another with everything they will need for the rest of his/her life. that's why we have friends; that's why we have all sorts of different relationships... because what i need today may not be the same as what i'll need 10 years from now. infatuation never lasts. once the thrill is gone, you'd better hope you're with someone you enjoy having as a friend because part of being human is to crave variety and new adventures.
i complete me so you don't have to. i'll take care of my happiness and you take care of yours. sex and love and relationships in general are a lot more fun if you're able to WANT your partner instead of NEEDING them.
so, 'be yourself', means owning who you are and what you want and not feeling the need to seek approval from those you're attracted to. it's not sex i'm interested in... it's YOU. when it comes to sex/romance, the difference that makes the difference is indifference. i don't care if you want to sleep with me... but i DO care that you remain my friend. sex is everywhere, but true friendship is precious and rare. let's not let some hormonal itch turn us into something we don't want to be.
so, like i said, i just got back from vegas. i got to hang out with 'players' and 'playboys' and porn stars and reconfirmed for myself that there's nothing left for me to learn when it comes to "the game." i've learned to 'be myself' and that's all that's really required for happiness. everyone i spent time with- johnny, amadeus, scott, conrad, chachi, si, tyler, violet, marci, tina, wagner- was truly good company and tons of fun to hang out with. it's so gratifying to spend time with folks who've found their way past the insecure bullshit and reached a greater sense of self-actualization.
so, yeah, 'the game' is for beginners... once you know who you are, the real fun can truly begin.
i just got back from vegas and the AVN convention there. i stayed with johnny soporno, harlequin and a handful of fellas looking to improve their "game". the pickup elite, if you will.
in case you weren't aware, there's a whole on-line community of aspiring pick-up artists exchanging ideas, techniques and philosophies for attracting women- double your dating, the worthy playboy institute, the mystery method, real social dynamics, stylelife, vin dicarlo, etc.
basically, the aim is to figure out what women want and give it to them. everyone who studies "the game", in any serious way, eventually reaches the same conclusion... it's all about mindset. for years women have told us fellas to just 'be yourself' and it's true. that's all there is to it.
"deep at the center of your being you have the answer- you know who you are and what you want." -lao tzu
of course, this is often easier said than done. we live in a culture that programs us with all sorts of fucked up ideas of who we should be and what we should want. those who sleep with whomever they please are often frowned upon as 'sluts.' the phrase 'i love you' is often mis-heard as 'i own you.' undue value has been assigned to monogamy, virginity, chastity, etc... we live in a disney-fied culture where anything 'adult' is viewed as taboo and a guilty pleasure. this doesn't keep folks from sleeping around and pursuing the same carnal pleasures they always have, but it does leave many feeling guilty, ashamed and confused by their own desires. this, in turn, leads to deception, infidelity, selfishness and a lack of honesty.
so, when a girl says, 'be yourself,' realize that's a pretty tall order for many men. for thousands of years, women needed men to provide for them, 'bring home the bacon', protect them, etc. those days are long gone. a woman doesn't even need a man to have baby anymore. many women still WANT a man, but they no longer NEED us as they used to. this has left many men feeling useless. if he can't buy a woman's affection with the promise of security, what else could he possibly have to offer?
but there is one thing women will always need men for... to appreciate them; to celebrate them; to provide companionship and affection without asking for anything in return. women love a man who can take responsibility for his own needs and find his sense of worth on the inside.
after 30+ years, the sexual revolution is still going on- women lobbying for their freedom and men, in their insecurity, refusing to let go of the outdated concept of love-as-ownership.
"you complete me" may sound romantic, but it's founded on a fallacy. there is no ONE person in the world who can provide another with everything they will need for the rest of his/her life. that's why we have friends; that's why we have all sorts of different relationships... because what i need today may not be the same as what i'll need 10 years from now. infatuation never lasts. once the thrill is gone, you'd better hope you're with someone you enjoy having as a friend because part of being human is to crave variety and new adventures.
i complete me so you don't have to. i'll take care of my happiness and you take care of yours. sex and love and relationships in general are a lot more fun if you're able to WANT your partner instead of NEEDING them.
so, 'be yourself', means owning who you are and what you want and not feeling the need to seek approval from those you're attracted to. it's not sex i'm interested in... it's YOU. when it comes to sex/romance, the difference that makes the difference is indifference. i don't care if you want to sleep with me... but i DO care that you remain my friend. sex is everywhere, but true friendship is precious and rare. let's not let some hormonal itch turn us into something we don't want to be.
so, like i said, i just got back from vegas. i got to hang out with 'players' and 'playboys' and porn stars and reconfirmed for myself that there's nothing left for me to learn when it comes to "the game." i've learned to 'be myself' and that's all that's really required for happiness. everyone i spent time with- johnny, amadeus, scott, conrad, chachi, si, tyler, violet, marci, tina, wagner- was truly good company and tons of fun to hang out with. it's so gratifying to spend time with folks who've found their way past the insecure bullshit and reached a greater sense of self-actualization.
so, yeah, 'the game' is for beginners... once you know who you are, the real fun can truly begin.
oubliette:
I liked all this.