Early man had little choice when he wanted entertainment. He would
basically sit in the entrance of his cave, jerk off, and watch his
neighbors.
If he waited long enough, hopefully he would catch a glimpse of them
fucking their mate, beating their children, or getting eaten by a dinosaur. If
he was lucky, he would get to see all three. If he was really lucky: all
three at once. You would think our entertainment choices would have evolved
right along with us. I say if anything they have gotten worse.
People today enjoy the circus. The Romans invented them. But not
pussy circuses like we have. They were designed as an alternative to
watching your neighbors. Action was guaranteed. Every show they had lions
eating people. Every show was followed by an orgy. In modern times, you're
lucky if a lion eats even a couple people when you go to the circus. Sure,
the modern circus is always good for an elephant trampling, but that's
really more of a tease than a main event. And maybe you'll find a horny
midget or a licentious acrobat to eat your ass at intermission if you're lucky,
and you keep your ass spotless.
In spite of this, most modern circuses still manage to deliver a
modicum of entertainment. But now there are more and more circuses without any
animals. Crazy, dirty French circuses made up entirely of pretentious
acrobatic clowns. These clowns rarely eat members of the audience and
they are insufferably rude if you even dare suggest they fondle your
buttocks or twist a nipple. As if we needed another reason to hate
the French, or clowns.
Around the 1700's man invented television. Of course these early
televisions were made of wood and there were probably only 3 or 4
channels, with one of them being devoted entirely to churning butter. In the
twentieth century we have cable television. There are over 5000
channels. They still have the channel devoted to churning butter, but now they
also run it in Spanish. The Spanish version is way better because the
butter churner has enormous tits. Sometimes Erik Estrada shows up to chase
her around the butter churn wearing only a bonnet, a bow tie, and a pair of
high heels.
We all know that modern network television is highly regulated and
censored. We expect it to be creamy soft serve dog shit in a cardboard cup.
Basic cable is also a wasteland. Basic cable is divided between crappy low
budget decorating shows, tedious wildlife shows, and that show where they
build motorcycles. The motorcycle show, which used to be one of my
favorites, is now just one big product placement opportunity for whatever corrupt
corporation dumps a mountain of cash on these, 'rebel' bike builders/cheap corporate whores.
Premium cable television is no better. They've hired all of the
writers away from basic cable and network television and then they never put
out any new shows. There is one new episode of the Sopranos every 3 years.
The new season is going to open with A.J. getting a colostomy bag and
moving into a retirement home.
And what has basic cable and network television done now that they
don't have any writers? They've switched to Reality Programs. What are
Reality Programs? Cameras follow people around as they go about their day.
Does this sound familiar? You're just sitting in the mouth of the cave
watching your neighbors. We're back where we started, except this time there is
no chance a dinosaur will show up and disembowel Bobby Brown. And that's
a shame.
basically sit in the entrance of his cave, jerk off, and watch his
neighbors.
If he waited long enough, hopefully he would catch a glimpse of them
fucking their mate, beating their children, or getting eaten by a dinosaur. If
he was lucky, he would get to see all three. If he was really lucky: all
three at once. You would think our entertainment choices would have evolved
right along with us. I say if anything they have gotten worse.
People today enjoy the circus. The Romans invented them. But not
pussy circuses like we have. They were designed as an alternative to
watching your neighbors. Action was guaranteed. Every show they had lions
eating people. Every show was followed by an orgy. In modern times, you're
lucky if a lion eats even a couple people when you go to the circus. Sure,
the modern circus is always good for an elephant trampling, but that's
really more of a tease than a main event. And maybe you'll find a horny
midget or a licentious acrobat to eat your ass at intermission if you're lucky,
and you keep your ass spotless.
In spite of this, most modern circuses still manage to deliver a
modicum of entertainment. But now there are more and more circuses without any
animals. Crazy, dirty French circuses made up entirely of pretentious
acrobatic clowns. These clowns rarely eat members of the audience and
they are insufferably rude if you even dare suggest they fondle your
buttocks or twist a nipple. As if we needed another reason to hate
the French, or clowns.
Around the 1700's man invented television. Of course these early
televisions were made of wood and there were probably only 3 or 4
channels, with one of them being devoted entirely to churning butter. In the
twentieth century we have cable television. There are over 5000
channels. They still have the channel devoted to churning butter, but now they
also run it in Spanish. The Spanish version is way better because the
butter churner has enormous tits. Sometimes Erik Estrada shows up to chase
her around the butter churn wearing only a bonnet, a bow tie, and a pair of
high heels.
We all know that modern network television is highly regulated and
censored. We expect it to be creamy soft serve dog shit in a cardboard cup.
Basic cable is also a wasteland. Basic cable is divided between crappy low
budget decorating shows, tedious wildlife shows, and that show where they
build motorcycles. The motorcycle show, which used to be one of my
favorites, is now just one big product placement opportunity for whatever corrupt
corporation dumps a mountain of cash on these, 'rebel' bike builders/cheap corporate whores.
Premium cable television is no better. They've hired all of the
writers away from basic cable and network television and then they never put
out any new shows. There is one new episode of the Sopranos every 3 years.
The new season is going to open with A.J. getting a colostomy bag and
moving into a retirement home.
And what has basic cable and network television done now that they
don't have any writers? They've switched to Reality Programs. What are
Reality Programs? Cameras follow people around as they go about their day.
Does this sound familiar? You're just sitting in the mouth of the cave
watching your neighbors. We're back where we started, except this time there is
no chance a dinosaur will show up and disembowel Bobby Brown. And that's
a shame.
gmd:
Don't forget that Reality Programs arent' even real. They have a script. They follow that script.
pigsispigs:
True. Especially MTV. Remember when M stood for music?