Long Distance Relationships.Anyone willing to offer me some advice with my complex situation I am in rite now???I really could use it.If so I guess I explain a little bit about it. Well back in march of 2008 I was using my soulseek account downloading music,and noticed this user was downloading a few things off me,and I always sign off before they could finish,so I sent them a message 1 day saying sorry for always signing off on them sent them my email address for msn to add me on the messenger and we could talk music 1 day and I could send them more then I had on my soulseek. I did not know who this person was,if it be a guy or girl, was just being friendly. Well one day maybe 2-3 months later I get a message on my msn and it was from the user on soulseek. It was a girl from Rome,Italy and we began to introduce both ourselves to each other,you know just the simple things people share when you talk for the 1st time. But something very strange happened. After talking for maybe just a hour or so we grew this connection,a connection I never grown with anyone. And the funnything it all started because of music. Like we were talking about the types of music we like and the bands we like most,and we realized we like 90% of the same exact stuff,hate the same stuff and etc,but then we started to talk about Screeching Weasel,then Ben Weasel,then from that talk it turned it this huge talk about life,society,both our fears ,our problems,just both our lives in general. In this moment we both realized how we are to so alike that that we needed to talk to each other more. So from that night on we shared pictures of each other,we were both attractive to one another,and laughed and joked if there was no ocean in between us that we would go wild on each other rite away. We both just came into each other as friends,but then we talked about maybe 12-14 hours a day for almost 3 weeks strait and it turned into love. So from the time we both knew we have grown this love for one another we realized we have to meet one day.
Well now comes the hard part for me. Me and her were to finally meet this New Years eve in London. I was going to fly from Philadelphia to London,her from Rome,to London. We were to spend 2 weeks with each other. We planed this trip I guess from the start of October. We had the hotel paid for,both had our plane tickets. We had more then enough time to get all we had to get done before the trip. Well then something horrible happens to us both at the last minute,on the same exact day we both end up in the hospital. And next thing you know the trip is canceled.
I lost it after this. I drank myself away for like 2 weeks strait,and with her problems things between us have got very strange. My head really fucked up,I don't know what to think or what to do anymore.I still really care about this girl, and she still really cares about me. But with all that just happened(trust me there so much I left out)I am really at a point with myself on what I can do. Yes I know to any of you who do read this,will think I am crazy for even putting myself in this situation,but the thing with me is this. I closed myself down for so many years after a break up with a ex. I had my partying days,I had my fun,I promised myself I stay closed,would not open up to anyone unless it was someone who could respect and care about me, for me and all my problems 100%. And this girl got me to open up again,and me and her both know if there was no ocean in between us that both our lives become much easier.
Nomatter what is to happen between me and this girl in the future I know we will always have a bond and strong friendship,what our roles in each other life is something we can never put a label on. All I know is I have to see this girl face to face one day. And she wants to see me face to face 1 day too. The thing is now because of her and her serious health problems we do not know when we will be able to meet. I was lucky enough to have British Airways refund me 100% with a flight voucher,so I can book a flight and travel any day I want now. The thing is my paranoid mind is telling me to just give up,I have become hopeless. I trying my best to respect her rite now with all she has going on,and trying my best to be there for her and have patience,but I now feel myself closing up again,and afraid things may get worse between us because of my actions to come,who knows.
Any advice????????What you think I should do??????????What would you do????????????I am really driving myself crazy with this situation. There is even a SG girl who is friends with this girl ,and I even tempted to write her and ask about this girl,but I am afraid if I do it could cause bigger problems.
ahhh let me shut up now. All I can say is that I really care about this person. Yes I love the fact that she is a punk rocker,love the way she dresses,love the crazy colors she does her hair,love that we share the same love and passion for music,love how we can relate and understand on everything in life the good and the bad,But mostly I love her for the person she is,she one of a kind,and I am afraid to let her go. With that said hope some you out there can offer some advice and i tell you more details of this fucked up sad situation I am in. I know I have not been active on SG for a long time or even at all,but I joined to meet people I can relate with,make friends with fellow unique people,and I feel now the best time for me to step out my shell and try.
Well now comes the hard part for me. Me and her were to finally meet this New Years eve in London. I was going to fly from Philadelphia to London,her from Rome,to London. We were to spend 2 weeks with each other. We planed this trip I guess from the start of October. We had the hotel paid for,both had our plane tickets. We had more then enough time to get all we had to get done before the trip. Well then something horrible happens to us both at the last minute,on the same exact day we both end up in the hospital. And next thing you know the trip is canceled.
I lost it after this. I drank myself away for like 2 weeks strait,and with her problems things between us have got very strange. My head really fucked up,I don't know what to think or what to do anymore.I still really care about this girl, and she still really cares about me. But with all that just happened(trust me there so much I left out)I am really at a point with myself on what I can do. Yes I know to any of you who do read this,will think I am crazy for even putting myself in this situation,but the thing with me is this. I closed myself down for so many years after a break up with a ex. I had my partying days,I had my fun,I promised myself I stay closed,would not open up to anyone unless it was someone who could respect and care about me, for me and all my problems 100%. And this girl got me to open up again,and me and her both know if there was no ocean in between us that both our lives become much easier.
Nomatter what is to happen between me and this girl in the future I know we will always have a bond and strong friendship,what our roles in each other life is something we can never put a label on. All I know is I have to see this girl face to face one day. And she wants to see me face to face 1 day too. The thing is now because of her and her serious health problems we do not know when we will be able to meet. I was lucky enough to have British Airways refund me 100% with a flight voucher,so I can book a flight and travel any day I want now. The thing is my paranoid mind is telling me to just give up,I have become hopeless. I trying my best to respect her rite now with all she has going on,and trying my best to be there for her and have patience,but I now feel myself closing up again,and afraid things may get worse between us because of my actions to come,who knows.
Any advice????????What you think I should do??????????What would you do????????????I am really driving myself crazy with this situation. There is even a SG girl who is friends with this girl ,and I even tempted to write her and ask about this girl,but I am afraid if I do it could cause bigger problems.
ahhh let me shut up now. All I can say is that I really care about this person. Yes I love the fact that she is a punk rocker,love the way she dresses,love the crazy colors she does her hair,love that we share the same love and passion for music,love how we can relate and understand on everything in life the good and the bad,But mostly I love her for the person she is,she one of a kind,and I am afraid to let her go. With that said hope some you out there can offer some advice and i tell you more details of this fucked up sad situation I am in. I know I have not been active on SG for a long time or even at all,but I joined to meet people I can relate with,make friends with fellow unique people,and I feel now the best time for me to step out my shell and try.