To anyone that actually reads this (which is likely to be very few, if anyone)
The following words sum up how I feel now that im starting to come out of a major period of depression and despair which I will explain in just a sec.
AHEM! (Clears throat)
(Grabs mic) *que feedback noises*
Everybody
Rock your body
Everybody
Rock your body right,
Peter's back alright!
Da da da da da da
Da da da da
Ok enough of that
Ah the Backstreet Boys, what would I do without them lol having said that me and my mates used to do the dance to Five's Lets Dance in clubs to impress the ladies so maybe I was a closet boy band member and never knew?!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrxVvhmtG9A&feature=related (just incase you need reminding - p.s. we only did the dance in the rain bit)
Well as indicated things have not been great for me since I was last on here, most recently on the 18th August 2010, something terrible happened, I turned 30, now I feel ive been firmly placed in the scrap heap of life.
The thing is my life used to be so great, I practically lived a rock star lifestyle, last time I was on the site I was fairly rich I had a sexy girlfriend a great job, great friends and no cares in the world.
Since then my dad has died, I went bankrupt and my girlfriend has left me and Ive literally gone from a luxury penthouse apartment to being virtually on the street, ive lost pretty much everything! But the strange thing is im ok with it, I feel like a new man, although I had alot of money and material things, I was never really happy. (such a cliche, but its true) my dads death was the worst experience of my life, and it has left me feeling very alone sometimes, but the rest of it I think has over all made me a better person. Ive learnt I cant take anything for granted and as a result I see life in a new way.
that said however im far from happy now, Im earning a pittance, im single, over weight and probably quite unattractive, I have no prospects and im not seeing any sign of any improvements. However I am happier now im poor and broken than I was when I was rich and care free! I do miss the money, but only because I wish I still had it so I could live my life better ide spend it more wisely and ensure still be benefiting from it many years into the future.
The truth is I have alot to be thankful for I suppose, I do at least have a job and a roof over my had, many cant say that right now, so im able to live, but emotionally im still very much still on very shaky ground, I miss the love and companionship ive lost in my life, both from my father and my girlfriend, for the record I am over my ex, its not that I miss her as much as I miss having someone around.
Is early days I suppose, and I should keep trying to rebuild my life and I will be happy again, but ide give anything to be able to hold someone in my arms again and know that that person loves me, obviously ide like that to be my father but thats just not going to happen, but a girlfriend would go a long long way to making me feel better about myself. I realise that sounds really shallow but I cant help it I miss being in a relationship so much.
Anyway this has gone on long enough and it was supposed to be a happy blog but then it doesnt look like its going to turn out like that lol
I shall leave you with this
Sometimes you have to lose everything to realise just what s really important in life, and when you do learn what is, do everything in your power to capture and hold onto what is important because you can never guarantee it will be there forever.
Thats what im doing now, and thats what im going to continue to do until I succeed
I WILL SUCCEED!
The following words sum up how I feel now that im starting to come out of a major period of depression and despair which I will explain in just a sec.
AHEM! (Clears throat)
(Grabs mic) *que feedback noises*
Everybody
Rock your body
Everybody
Rock your body right,
Peter's back alright!
Da da da da da da
Da da da da
Ok enough of that
Ah the Backstreet Boys, what would I do without them lol having said that me and my mates used to do the dance to Five's Lets Dance in clubs to impress the ladies so maybe I was a closet boy band member and never knew?!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrxVvhmtG9A&feature=related (just incase you need reminding - p.s. we only did the dance in the rain bit)
Well as indicated things have not been great for me since I was last on here, most recently on the 18th August 2010, something terrible happened, I turned 30, now I feel ive been firmly placed in the scrap heap of life.
The thing is my life used to be so great, I practically lived a rock star lifestyle, last time I was on the site I was fairly rich I had a sexy girlfriend a great job, great friends and no cares in the world.
Since then my dad has died, I went bankrupt and my girlfriend has left me and Ive literally gone from a luxury penthouse apartment to being virtually on the street, ive lost pretty much everything! But the strange thing is im ok with it, I feel like a new man, although I had alot of money and material things, I was never really happy. (such a cliche, but its true) my dads death was the worst experience of my life, and it has left me feeling very alone sometimes, but the rest of it I think has over all made me a better person. Ive learnt I cant take anything for granted and as a result I see life in a new way.
that said however im far from happy now, Im earning a pittance, im single, over weight and probably quite unattractive, I have no prospects and im not seeing any sign of any improvements. However I am happier now im poor and broken than I was when I was rich and care free! I do miss the money, but only because I wish I still had it so I could live my life better ide spend it more wisely and ensure still be benefiting from it many years into the future.
The truth is I have alot to be thankful for I suppose, I do at least have a job and a roof over my had, many cant say that right now, so im able to live, but emotionally im still very much still on very shaky ground, I miss the love and companionship ive lost in my life, both from my father and my girlfriend, for the record I am over my ex, its not that I miss her as much as I miss having someone around.
Is early days I suppose, and I should keep trying to rebuild my life and I will be happy again, but ide give anything to be able to hold someone in my arms again and know that that person loves me, obviously ide like that to be my father but thats just not going to happen, but a girlfriend would go a long long way to making me feel better about myself. I realise that sounds really shallow but I cant help it I miss being in a relationship so much.
Anyway this has gone on long enough and it was supposed to be a happy blog but then it doesnt look like its going to turn out like that lol
I shall leave you with this
Sometimes you have to lose everything to realise just what s really important in life, and when you do learn what is, do everything in your power to capture and hold onto what is important because you can never guarantee it will be there forever.
Thats what im doing now, and thats what im going to continue to do until I succeed
I WILL SUCCEED!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
gizela:
Would be awesome if you could
peterkerr4752:
Every day in every way im getting better and better.....Every day in every way im getting better and better.....Every day in every way im getting better and better.....................