As it stands right now, it looks like I'll soon be no longer living with my girlfriend. If I am indeed leaving, then I'll be moving in with my sister which always means good times. I was going to start moving my shit out tonight after work but I'm whooped from a super-busy lunch, and I'm not yet totally convinced it's over. I have a feeling she'll stay out late after work tonight, so if I don't end up seeing her then I'll start moving my shit tomorrow.
We discussed matters again last night and it was civil but ended with neither one of us yielding on the central issue: she doesn't want anyone in our house who she hasn't met first. I told her I think that's nonsense and that I'm more than happy to introduce her to my friends but that I don't need to run anyone by her first to get her approval. Fuck that shit. It's focused solely on the house. She doesn't say who I can and can't hang out with. She's just hell-bent on not letting "strangers" in our home. She says the thought makes her feel unsafe. I told her that if she can't trust my judgement then it's time for me to move on. I never said she has to like all my friends. That was never part of the discussion. She wouldn't be like that, anyway, which bugs me all the more because the issue seems so small. She has some sort of home-protection-stranger-fear thing which I figure has something to do with her childhood or something, but I can't be her therapist and I am unwilling to compromise when it comes to my being able to freely associate with people I consider to be my friends and welcome them into my home. I asked her what I'm supposed to do if I'm off and she's working and one of my buddies who she hasn't met yet (of which there are many) calls me because he's in our neck of the woods and wants to stop by for some brews and chit-chat. She said she'd expect me to tell him that he can't come into our house unless she either meets him first or is there when he gets here. If that isn't a huge WTF, then I don't know what is. She thinks I have no concern for her sense of safety, to which I replied, "I think your fears are irrational and I will not let them rule my life."
If there's one thing I have a big problem with it's when I feel like someone else's issues are dragging me down. I have enough shit of my own to deal with, I don't need my significant other impeding my happiness with her social phobias, ESPECIALLY when it comes to my friends. I'm an ardent believer in "bro's before ho's". I don't mean to disrespect the ladies but if a girl starts trying to exert control over my friend time then I have no doubt which way I have to go. No girlfriend will ever tell me who I can hang out with or when. I understand that when you live with someone there might be times where they don't want other people in the house. Believe me, I understand that. I'm mostly a stay-at-home kind of guy and I like things quiet and I don't really feel like talking a lot because that's what I do constantly at work, so there are definitely times where I wouldn't want her to have people over. I understand that sort of thing. It just goes back to the "no strangers in the house" rule.
I'm one of those people who's basically "your friends are my friends". I reserve the right to form my own opinions but if someone I'm cool with tells me someone else is cool, then they're cool until proven otherwise. I'm just open like that and some people aren't. I want to be with the warm, welcoming sorts.
Peace,
msi.
We discussed matters again last night and it was civil but ended with neither one of us yielding on the central issue: she doesn't want anyone in our house who she hasn't met first. I told her I think that's nonsense and that I'm more than happy to introduce her to my friends but that I don't need to run anyone by her first to get her approval. Fuck that shit. It's focused solely on the house. She doesn't say who I can and can't hang out with. She's just hell-bent on not letting "strangers" in our home. She says the thought makes her feel unsafe. I told her that if she can't trust my judgement then it's time for me to move on. I never said she has to like all my friends. That was never part of the discussion. She wouldn't be like that, anyway, which bugs me all the more because the issue seems so small. She has some sort of home-protection-stranger-fear thing which I figure has something to do with her childhood or something, but I can't be her therapist and I am unwilling to compromise when it comes to my being able to freely associate with people I consider to be my friends and welcome them into my home. I asked her what I'm supposed to do if I'm off and she's working and one of my buddies who she hasn't met yet (of which there are many) calls me because he's in our neck of the woods and wants to stop by for some brews and chit-chat. She said she'd expect me to tell him that he can't come into our house unless she either meets him first or is there when he gets here. If that isn't a huge WTF, then I don't know what is. She thinks I have no concern for her sense of safety, to which I replied, "I think your fears are irrational and I will not let them rule my life."
If there's one thing I have a big problem with it's when I feel like someone else's issues are dragging me down. I have enough shit of my own to deal with, I don't need my significant other impeding my happiness with her social phobias, ESPECIALLY when it comes to my friends. I'm an ardent believer in "bro's before ho's". I don't mean to disrespect the ladies but if a girl starts trying to exert control over my friend time then I have no doubt which way I have to go. No girlfriend will ever tell me who I can hang out with or when. I understand that when you live with someone there might be times where they don't want other people in the house. Believe me, I understand that. I'm mostly a stay-at-home kind of guy and I like things quiet and I don't really feel like talking a lot because that's what I do constantly at work, so there are definitely times where I wouldn't want her to have people over. I understand that sort of thing. It just goes back to the "no strangers in the house" rule.
I'm one of those people who's basically "your friends are my friends". I reserve the right to form my own opinions but if someone I'm cool with tells me someone else is cool, then they're cool until proven otherwise. I'm just open like that and some people aren't. I want to be with the warm, welcoming sorts.
Peace,
msi.
kthxbi:
i don't know... women are SO different. they have shit to worry about that guys don't have to worry about like getting raped and shit. and some people are shadier than you may think, or they may lead on to. all it takes is one person to spot something of value at your house and plan to steal it or whatever. women are paranoid like that. but it's because they are vulerable and weak. there are tons of other places to meet up/gather with friends. i assume she already knows your "close" friends. what's wrong with keeping strangers out? did you want out of the relationship?