mindfuck

Now my doctor wont renew my adderall script unless I stop doing drugs. I need adderall to study, unmediated all I can really do is read. I need addys to write. Write like refreshing water flowing out my soul. I need to write to breathe. REHAB FUCK!

I was actually going to go to rehab because I love him and I didnt want to shut the door on him and this means having to be his therapist as well as my own. Then this morning I woke up and he told me he did bad ecstasy with his roommate and now its so hopeless when keep backstabbing me like this. Im pissed. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him.

I am not very smart when it comes to love and protection.

This obviously closeted gay dude shorted me 100 bucks after a party and left me out in the cold and the snow. I dont understand how he thought I was just fucking around for the first hour when I was laughing and talking and dancing. Thats what I do you fucking retard, thats what you asked for, your buddies all had lots of fun. I still made a lot of money in two hours but after this comment I nearly killed him before he threw me the door. I crouched in the bushes behind the house and waited for them to pull off. Youre just the whore. His words rang as I watched him pull off in his white fucking truck. Sta-rip-per you fool. I had already beaten him but the fem-rage was swelling inside me like a loaded gun.
This is why people with my impulse control problems shouldnt do coke. I really, never touch the stuff, but this time hot girls had blown it into my (do you remember this story?). So I was really fucking high. I couldnt find my cell to call for help and thought, ah fuck, I left it inside the locked house. My first breaking and entering. A moment of hesitation I popped the screen off the window. Do I dare disturb the universe? I picked up a cement block and shattered the window. I threw one leg over the glass and cut my neck getting through. I stood in the dark office shaking. I jumped like a cat when my cell went off. It was in my pocket.
In the electronic glow I see two computers, fax machine, printers then Jesus came to me. I went to the fridge and cleaned out the liquor and the beer. In the light of the fridge I found a flashlight. Yes, so I can see my way out of the house. I played with the light on the falling snow. The cabby came like a knight on a black horse. I drank the peppermint snapps with this fabulous fake blonde, Amber. She made several drunken phone calls just to tell people how beautiful I am.