I joined SG many moons ago. I was interested in potentially becoming a SG but talked myself out of it for a variety of reasons (though I wouldn't say it's completely out of the question forever). I also wanted to meet guys who appreciate lovely tattooed alt women like myself (After flirting with what turned out to be a very conservative Canadian whom I met on vacation in Italy and convincing him to visit me in NY, we ended up in bed together and he expressed being extremely repelled by my ink. I would love to avoid another experience like that from happening. Ever.).
Fast forward several years. I let my SG membership lapse but constantly eyeballed all the discounted specials filling my inbox on various holidays (any and every excuse for promotional offers, right, SG?). Well, I finally caved and paid my annual membership fee.
At this point in my life, I can fully embrace who I am: a bisexual woman with a preference for alt men AND women. This may seem like a fairly minor feat to some, but it's kind of a big deal for me. Why? I've spent most of my teens, 20s, and at least part of my 30s filled with some degree of internal homophobia, a shameful self-loathing that has rocked me to my core. I have felt guilty, ashamed, fearful, and guarded about my sexuality. I have dated mostly men, played around a bit with women, and I can pronounce with tenacity that I am attracted on an individual basis. If I love someone, I love them as a person.
Without divulging all my nitty-gritty details in a single blog post, I'll just say that I recently got out of an emotionally-abusive relationship. I am on the path to healing but to say it has been a long and arduous journey would be a vast understatement. I've realized things about myself, what I want and absolutely don't want in a companion, how I deserve to be treated, and above all else, I've learned about self-compassion.
All of the aforementioned has led me to the revelation that my time is NOW. I am finally brave enough to be myself, and I hope whoever is out there reading this is brave enough to do the same. Let your freak flag fly high and fuck those who have a problem with it.
And bring in the sexy, gorgeous, lovely dancing girls! <3