I'm such lost cause.
Today all day I would have flashbacks...
If I thought about something in my life, I would flash back to a time where I was talking to my ex about it. The silly plans we made for "our future". Oh how it made m happy in that moment. But then reality came crashing down. I realized It wasn't going to happen because we were not together anymore. And it doesn't look like she take me back either... No signs in her myspace (she hasn't gone on in a while), she hasn't texted me to talk to me and my attempts don't lead to any conversation. Its tough when you were so ready for something good. My first GF was not what I wanted but I went with it anyway. That ended bad. I find someone who I feel is great but I ruin it with bad habits picked up from my ex. Realized all too late.
But I disgust my self even more by going back to my ex. Sure I can be just friends with her but why would I actually try the friends with benefits??? esp with her!!?? ugh and not just once either... I am not doing it again. Esp sense I wasn't to responsible about it. I'm too young to be getting into that situation. Just gatta wait a month and see what happens. I can't believe I fell into the teenage cliche. God help me what have I done? What have I become? But its kinda hard to change when people don't let you(or make it easy for you) or your environment doesn't let you...
I feel like:
Today all day I would have flashbacks...
If I thought about something in my life, I would flash back to a time where I was talking to my ex about it. The silly plans we made for "our future". Oh how it made m happy in that moment. But then reality came crashing down. I realized It wasn't going to happen because we were not together anymore. And it doesn't look like she take me back either... No signs in her myspace (she hasn't gone on in a while), she hasn't texted me to talk to me and my attempts don't lead to any conversation. Its tough when you were so ready for something good. My first GF was not what I wanted but I went with it anyway. That ended bad. I find someone who I feel is great but I ruin it with bad habits picked up from my ex. Realized all too late.
But I disgust my self even more by going back to my ex. Sure I can be just friends with her but why would I actually try the friends with benefits??? esp with her!!?? ugh and not just once either... I am not doing it again. Esp sense I wasn't to responsible about it. I'm too young to be getting into that situation. Just gatta wait a month and see what happens. I can't believe I fell into the teenage cliche. God help me what have I done? What have I become? But its kinda hard to change when people don't let you(or make it easy for you) or your environment doesn't let you...
I feel like: