Acceptance, Denial and Faith
Sometimes the greatest cause of discomfort in life is my inabillity to accept life on its terms. And sometimes I think I'm ok, because I'm acting all accepting and stuff, while at the same time I'm seething somewhere inside because I'm unhappy and I'm trying to deny that.
So what's the balance? Where's the point where I end and life begins? Life is good and bad, just like me. Where do I stop and where do I go? What is happiness? Sometimes I'm sure it's commiting myself to some kind of ideal, other times that sounds really hollow and pathetic.
Ok, so honesty is important. I can't change what I don't accept to exist, so if I go along acting all laddy-daa when inside I'm really just being dragged through eveything like needles across a chalk board it's kind of a moot point. So I find this source of discomfort or it finds me.
Sometimes it manifests in my imagination. The people and things that I care about can't be denied. They force their way to my conciousness whether I want them to or not, even if it's under the cover of fictional stories and people. The more I deny these internal stories the louder and more persistent they become because they don't just want to be heard, they need to be heard. And I need to hear them, otherwise I wouldn't have made them in the first place, right?
What happens next is up to me. I have to look at the story and I have to learn the lesson it demonstrates and apply it to my life. Sometimes that's really hard. Sometimes it means accepting something that I really hate or denying something I want to hold onto.
If you pray for 'the best', you have to be accepting of what follows because you may not know what the best is. It might be something you hate and don't want to accept. Maybe you'll miss someone or they even worse they won't miss you. But that's our story. We don't have anything else to do but exist so I try to try my best.
Sometimes the greatest cause of discomfort in life is my inabillity to accept life on its terms. And sometimes I think I'm ok, because I'm acting all accepting and stuff, while at the same time I'm seething somewhere inside because I'm unhappy and I'm trying to deny that.
So what's the balance? Where's the point where I end and life begins? Life is good and bad, just like me. Where do I stop and where do I go? What is happiness? Sometimes I'm sure it's commiting myself to some kind of ideal, other times that sounds really hollow and pathetic.
Ok, so honesty is important. I can't change what I don't accept to exist, so if I go along acting all laddy-daa when inside I'm really just being dragged through eveything like needles across a chalk board it's kind of a moot point. So I find this source of discomfort or it finds me.
Sometimes it manifests in my imagination. The people and things that I care about can't be denied. They force their way to my conciousness whether I want them to or not, even if it's under the cover of fictional stories and people. The more I deny these internal stories the louder and more persistent they become because they don't just want to be heard, they need to be heard. And I need to hear them, otherwise I wouldn't have made them in the first place, right?
What happens next is up to me. I have to look at the story and I have to learn the lesson it demonstrates and apply it to my life. Sometimes that's really hard. Sometimes it means accepting something that I really hate or denying something I want to hold onto.
If you pray for 'the best', you have to be accepting of what follows because you may not know what the best is. It might be something you hate and don't want to accept. Maybe you'll miss someone or they even worse they won't miss you. But that's our story. We don't have anything else to do but exist so I try to try my best.