and here I am.
What to do on a Sunday night...turned Monday morning, 3:08am.
All alone.
Hands unheld for weeks it seems.
Everyone nipping at my heels, not for me...but for what they think I hold.
It's not theirs.
I have nothing. I have birth, I have love.
No one knows that more than I do.
It's not ready yet...I have nothing to give.
Lost inside my head, a million melodies, a thousand unwritten heartbreaks and loves found then lost.
The list, grown longer over the years. In retrospect...
Heather:: 18 songs
Brianne:: 6 songs
Chelsea:: 5 songs
Jackie:: 14 songs
Katelyn:: 6 songs
This is how it adds up.
Lust maybe dipped in a bit of love. Heat in the oven for a few weeks and it's DONE.
What I'm left with is pieces of myself, tape recorded, snap shotted. Photobooth photos of myself at different moments...unplanned. These songs read like a journal of my love for these beautiful people who would later turn out to be unmissed, some undeserving. Some disappeared.
Why stop though...
I won't
Find what it is you desire, find love...find your next subject to paint, snap photos of.
I have. Her name is Lindsay. I'm trying again.
Maybe this time I won't look back and laugh at myself at how juvenile and absurd my silly feelings are.
Maybe I'll truly enjoy myself without daring to think of things repeating themselves...my future wife ditching me.
heh. If life were easy we'd be lost.
It's perfect.
If it hurts, celebrate it.
Cement it.
Record it.
Write it.
Remember it.
When it doesn't hurt anymore...then you can look back.
I have nothing to say really.
Today is just another game played.
jj
What to do on a Sunday night...turned Monday morning, 3:08am.
All alone.
Hands unheld for weeks it seems.
Everyone nipping at my heels, not for me...but for what they think I hold.
It's not theirs.
I have nothing. I have birth, I have love.
No one knows that more than I do.
It's not ready yet...I have nothing to give.
Lost inside my head, a million melodies, a thousand unwritten heartbreaks and loves found then lost.
The list, grown longer over the years. In retrospect...
Heather:: 18 songs
Brianne:: 6 songs
Chelsea:: 5 songs
Jackie:: 14 songs
Katelyn:: 6 songs
This is how it adds up.
Lust maybe dipped in a bit of love. Heat in the oven for a few weeks and it's DONE.
What I'm left with is pieces of myself, tape recorded, snap shotted. Photobooth photos of myself at different moments...unplanned. These songs read like a journal of my love for these beautiful people who would later turn out to be unmissed, some undeserving. Some disappeared.
Why stop though...
I won't
Find what it is you desire, find love...find your next subject to paint, snap photos of.
I have. Her name is Lindsay. I'm trying again.
Maybe this time I won't look back and laugh at myself at how juvenile and absurd my silly feelings are.
Maybe I'll truly enjoy myself without daring to think of things repeating themselves...my future wife ditching me.
heh. If life were easy we'd be lost.
It's perfect.
If it hurts, celebrate it.
Cement it.
Record it.
Write it.
Remember it.
When it doesn't hurt anymore...then you can look back.
I have nothing to say really.
Today is just another game played.
jj
lucy:
Very pretty.