Well shit, about this time tomorrow Ill be getting ready to head to the Ghan.
I dont know if Im truly unafraid to go or if it just hasnt sunk in that Im headed to war. I was expecting something like what happened at airborne school.
On the last day of training, at the end of the day before we were released for the weekend it hit me that the next time I came in and put the uniform on I would be jumping out of a plain...and I thought to myself "...am I fucking insane?" I wasnt really scared but it stuck me as a less than rational thing to be doing.
However, Ive yet to have such a revelation in reference to the deployment. For the most part Im not looking forward to it...but I think its mostly because thats the mood around here lately. Everyone is all mopey about going and as I have no experience to the contrary I think my brain is just riding the current on that one. But every time I stop and think about it the idea doesnt really bother me...dying over there the least of all. I mean what happened to the idea of a death in combat being honorable? Why is it humans have become so obsessed with living as long as possible even if that means dying some shameful, bedridden death. I much prefer the idea of dying young and able in battle than lasting long enough to lose control of my bowels. Maybe Im just immature, havent lived enough years to know better, but I dont want to be living on borrowed time. I want to struggle...not just to be comfortable but to simply live. I need conflict. This world seems so surreal, like our history has become fiction. Its absurd what we take for granted and I dont think I could ever claim to be a decent human being if I dont throw myself into strife. If we dont know how we would react when face to face with our own mortality what do we really know about ourselves?
Yeah...my favorite food is pizza...I like pepperoni on my pizza...now what if you cant eat pizza? Who are you then?
A man fires a gun at me. I have a gun in my hands, what do I do? The answer to that speaks tomes of a persons character. Thats something I need to know about myself.
I dont know if Im truly unafraid to go or if it just hasnt sunk in that Im headed to war. I was expecting something like what happened at airborne school.
On the last day of training, at the end of the day before we were released for the weekend it hit me that the next time I came in and put the uniform on I would be jumping out of a plain...and I thought to myself "...am I fucking insane?" I wasnt really scared but it stuck me as a less than rational thing to be doing.
However, Ive yet to have such a revelation in reference to the deployment. For the most part Im not looking forward to it...but I think its mostly because thats the mood around here lately. Everyone is all mopey about going and as I have no experience to the contrary I think my brain is just riding the current on that one. But every time I stop and think about it the idea doesnt really bother me...dying over there the least of all. I mean what happened to the idea of a death in combat being honorable? Why is it humans have become so obsessed with living as long as possible even if that means dying some shameful, bedridden death. I much prefer the idea of dying young and able in battle than lasting long enough to lose control of my bowels. Maybe Im just immature, havent lived enough years to know better, but I dont want to be living on borrowed time. I want to struggle...not just to be comfortable but to simply live. I need conflict. This world seems so surreal, like our history has become fiction. Its absurd what we take for granted and I dont think I could ever claim to be a decent human being if I dont throw myself into strife. If we dont know how we would react when face to face with our own mortality what do we really know about ourselves?
Yeah...my favorite food is pizza...I like pepperoni on my pizza...now what if you cant eat pizza? Who are you then?
A man fires a gun at me. I have a gun in my hands, what do I do? The answer to that speaks tomes of a persons character. Thats something I need to know about myself.