Well my heart in broken and shattered in a million pieces and I dont understand any of it! My boyfriend and the father of my baby committed suicide today! He hung himself in the back yard. There are so many things going through my mind! So many things that I wish I had said. I wish I had stayed outside and told him i loved him maybe then he would have understood how much i loved him! How much I needed him and Loved him! how much I wanted him to be there for the baby! He had just gotten out of jail and he was a joy to be around, He was the man I fell in love with again. He was helpful and was taking care of me. and now hes gone and Ill never see him again! Never hear him say I love you mama! I just cant believe this is happening to me right now. I needed him more than ever and now hes gone! I wish I had a rewind button to make all this untrue! i have been crying for hours I cant feel or think or breath, I WANT HIM BACK!!! I miss his hugs and kisses! I cant believe this is real! I cant understand why this happened or why horrible things keep happening to me! I saw him hanging there and lost it! I cant get that image out of my mind! I cant make it go away! Now my daughter will never meet her father, he never will hold her or me again. we will never be a family. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stomped on. I dont know what to do. all I know is I wont stay in that house! I have to find a new place to live and I have to find enough money for security deposit. I was stressed before worried about everything, now i just feel Lost and lonely! There were so many people there for me and I appreciate it but its him that I want to walk through the door and he wont, not ever again! It Hurts so bad! I just want to scream!
I miss him so much! He had plenty of flaws but I loved him regardless. he was a good man and He was doing so good he wasnt drinking he was doing so good so this was a huge kick in the heart! I love you matt and i always will, I will take really good care of our daughter and ill tell her all the good things about her daddy! GOODBYE BABY! I love you!
RIP MATT
God I miss you so much!
Sad-ireland!
I miss him so much! He had plenty of flaws but I loved him regardless. he was a good man and He was doing so good he wasnt drinking he was doing so good so this was a huge kick in the heart! I love you matt and i always will, I will take really good care of our daughter and ill tell her all the good things about her daddy! GOODBYE BABY! I love you!
RIP MATT
God I miss you so much!
Sad-ireland!
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katieokiedokie:
Oh yes the Legends of the Gaurdians!! I'm going to see it..even if I have to go alone!! (which I probably will beacuse I always seem tofind friends who'll only do things THEY want to do..and can care less what others like to do.) I love barn owls!
modvayne:
I'm sorry that things haven't gone the way you have expected. I am always a phone call, email, IM away if you need anything. No matter how difficult my life gets or unhappy I am, I could never hurt those closest to me in the ways that I want to.