I feel so alone. The only days I don't feel alone are the days I spend at Kings.
Like it comes out of no where. I was driving to work this morning, and I started crying...and I was texting one of my best friends....TOTALLY NOT ALONE.
I used to think everyone hated me. Like I always thought Kevin's friends couldn't stand me, but I realized they actually like me, and I like them.
Then I think ahead to when I graduate college...the one person I have become dependent on will be gone from my life. Should I just enjoy his company now?
I am so lost. Like I don't know what to do.
When I have a major breakdown, I don't remember what happens. I just wake up and I'm like 'wow, last night was bad.' And I need to read my sent/received texts to realize what was said and what I did.
I seriously can't go on like this anymore, and it hurts me. Like I feel like I can be in a room full of friends, but I am alone...I am empty inside.
Its a pain I don't like...and I can't explain to anyone.
I was talking to a friend last night, and I asked him to fix me, get me better. But this is the thing I can't even grasp. If its a 'good' day for me...I can't talk to a counselor...because I don't think anything is wrong with me.
I only breakdown at night, and a counselor is not there for me at night.
I feel bad for relying on friends, am I slowly pushing them away with my unstable emotions?
I don't know what to do. I still am lonely, and getting a cold. I just wanna go lay in my 'second' bed. It would feel so good right now to get a hug.
Like it comes out of no where. I was driving to work this morning, and I started crying...and I was texting one of my best friends....TOTALLY NOT ALONE.
I used to think everyone hated me. Like I always thought Kevin's friends couldn't stand me, but I realized they actually like me, and I like them.
Then I think ahead to when I graduate college...the one person I have become dependent on will be gone from my life. Should I just enjoy his company now?
I am so lost. Like I don't know what to do.
When I have a major breakdown, I don't remember what happens. I just wake up and I'm like 'wow, last night was bad.' And I need to read my sent/received texts to realize what was said and what I did.
I seriously can't go on like this anymore, and it hurts me. Like I feel like I can be in a room full of friends, but I am alone...I am empty inside.
Its a pain I don't like...and I can't explain to anyone.
I was talking to a friend last night, and I asked him to fix me, get me better. But this is the thing I can't even grasp. If its a 'good' day for me...I can't talk to a counselor...because I don't think anything is wrong with me.
I only breakdown at night, and a counselor is not there for me at night.
I feel bad for relying on friends, am I slowly pushing them away with my unstable emotions?
I don't know what to do. I still am lonely, and getting a cold. I just wanna go lay in my 'second' bed. It would feel so good right now to get a hug.
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how are you honey???