Before I start I’d like to say hello to everyone who reads this as it’s first blog/rant and my first real post on a website with likeminded people that isn’t facebook or Instagram.
I’ve been single now for 4 years and although in the grand scheme of my 22 years on its earth it not that long but for someone who suffers from social anxiety, depression and many other things that’s quite a long time, especially as the dating game has changed a lot in those 4 years.
When I first became single there wasn’t much heard about online dating/ meet to bang sites such as tinder and Plenty of fish so life was simpler although I’ve never been a going out sort of person you’d always end up meeting someone you’d have a spark with then one thing would lead to another, you get the idea.
But in the last few years I personally have found it a lot more difficult to meet people even after signing up to any number of different dating sites from the big-name ones to smaller more exclusive sites. On the sheer fact that everything seems to be based on not very specific information and a few pictures, so when you first click to meet or swipe and start the rigmarole of the messaging procedure unless you’ve got an artistic photo of a models body or a ‘clever’ tag line you are pretty much shot down.
I have found this very apparent after spending the time and money on these sites because I can’t take photos of myself without feeling like an idiot, I don’t have a models body, definitely don’t make 5 figures a month and let’s be honest how ‘funny’ or ‘clever’ can we make the word hello, after messaging let’s give an example of 10 girls a day over a year I’ve had all but 3 replies and they don’t seem to want to talk more than 4 messages then its BYE FELICIA!
I do also have to raise a point especially in this 21st century equal opportunities world, why is it still the social norm for us men to message first, girls if you like us and it’s been a day or two since you’ve seen we like you why not say hi yourselves. Let’s break the social stigma of men message first, its already become acceptable for women to be one ones to ask the guy for his hand in marriage and for the woman to approach the guy who’s clearly been looking at her in the pub or club, so let’s start that from the beginning from that first message.