So after days of being distant and snobby and not wanting to cuddle, the boy picks up that something is wrong. Which means now I have to tell him. I'm not happy about it. I don't really like sharing my feelings, especially when I know what I'm upset about is insane and completely untrue to the point that you would have to be a complete idiot to put any value at all on what I'm thinking. Fuck.
And he's wonderful, but gosh, does he suck at the whole 'validation' thing that relationships (or maybe just girls in relationships) need. I know he loves me, I know he thinks I'm beautiful, if he didn't he would've broken up with me. But that doesn't mean he can get away with never saying it. I am a firm believer that if you love someone you tell them at least every time you walk out the door, because you never know when you're going to get hit by a bus and all the people you love will never know it because you'll be an ugly pile of splatter on the asphalt who didn't know how to say I love you often enough. Growing up in my house you said "I love you" no joke at least 10 times a day. I realize that I'm probably from an overly affectionate family, or maybe single moms show love more often to compensate, and I know that his childhood was not the kind conducive to "I love you" so I can accept that we will never have that same dynamic. However, I don't think it's too much to ask that whenever he's thinking that he loves me, he opens his mouth and thinks out loud. Same thing with when I look extra fucking sexy. A simple, "Wow," here, and a, "Hey, guess what, I love you," there would certainly help me out a lot, because lately I've been feeling like maybe he doesn't say those things because he doesn't think them. And I've been struggling with how I look so this just compounds that. Gah!
That is all.
And he's wonderful, but gosh, does he suck at the whole 'validation' thing that relationships (or maybe just girls in relationships) need. I know he loves me, I know he thinks I'm beautiful, if he didn't he would've broken up with me. But that doesn't mean he can get away with never saying it. I am a firm believer that if you love someone you tell them at least every time you walk out the door, because you never know when you're going to get hit by a bus and all the people you love will never know it because you'll be an ugly pile of splatter on the asphalt who didn't know how to say I love you often enough. Growing up in my house you said "I love you" no joke at least 10 times a day. I realize that I'm probably from an overly affectionate family, or maybe single moms show love more often to compensate, and I know that his childhood was not the kind conducive to "I love you" so I can accept that we will never have that same dynamic. However, I don't think it's too much to ask that whenever he's thinking that he loves me, he opens his mouth and thinks out loud. Same thing with when I look extra fucking sexy. A simple, "Wow," here, and a, "Hey, guess what, I love you," there would certainly help me out a lot, because lately I've been feeling like maybe he doesn't say those things because he doesn't think them. And I've been struggling with how I look so this just compounds that. Gah!
That is all.