So. I think I'm going to willfully cut myself off for a while. This works on a couple of levels, but I think cutting off is a good thing now and again.
A good example being how, after going to see a show that was awesome, I had this desire to suddenly get online and blabber here about it. I mean, what the fuck? Another good example being the amount and frequency of ganj I've been smoking. It's definately affecting my personality in a way I think I don't like. The only benefit I do see from being in a foggy haze is clarity that comes from being out of the fog. I just need to focus more on just seeing how clear shit is without having to walk thru fog to get there.
I've also noticed my long-windedness more and more. I don't know if that's becuase of the drugs or because of me talking all the fucking time. And I don't know if some of the time people are just too polite to say "Seriously, dude, shut the hell up for a second." So I'm gonna try to be less of that kind of person too. Maybe the weed exacerbates the problem. I hope so,
And I need to learn, as my favorite cartoon's graff head Matt/Minus puts it, "to do without." The saddest part about it is that he's right. When I had this idea of "no chance in hell, may as well not bother," apparently I'm fucking money. Yet the minute I get to thinking about "holy crap, maybe, just maybe..." I fall to shit. Case n point: yester-fuckin-day. Plagued with me just douching mysel all over to see this band I kinda like with the girl I kinda like who kinda likes this band kinda differently. So that's always fun. Add in the fact I spent most of the time stoned or talking, and, in my head at least, it was rough. Like walking on gravel barefoot rough.
So I'm gonna try my best to just be kind of Zen/Minimalist about shit for a while and see how I do. Cut back on a lot of shit. Like this thing for one. Instead try talking with people about shit. But doing it less; failing that, talking about more relevant/important/not fucking dumb stuff. Less weed, I think will be good. Maybe even less beer, tho that'll be a tough one. I dunno, maybe I'm just over-reacting but I'm doing my best not to be a fucking fanboy and just be. And I just don't think I'm doing so hot.
On the other hand, I did get a pretty sweet couple of buttons for my "emo" bag, and had a near-private concert with a band that kicked ass. Maybe I just need to think less, and act more.
In other news, werk bites, and I really think this will be my last summer ripping shoes. Also, I will never, ever, EVER have kids. Ever. And I need more free time.
A good example being how, after going to see a show that was awesome, I had this desire to suddenly get online and blabber here about it. I mean, what the fuck? Another good example being the amount and frequency of ganj I've been smoking. It's definately affecting my personality in a way I think I don't like. The only benefit I do see from being in a foggy haze is clarity that comes from being out of the fog. I just need to focus more on just seeing how clear shit is without having to walk thru fog to get there.
I've also noticed my long-windedness more and more. I don't know if that's becuase of the drugs or because of me talking all the fucking time. And I don't know if some of the time people are just too polite to say "Seriously, dude, shut the hell up for a second." So I'm gonna try to be less of that kind of person too. Maybe the weed exacerbates the problem. I hope so,
And I need to learn, as my favorite cartoon's graff head Matt/Minus puts it, "to do without." The saddest part about it is that he's right. When I had this idea of "no chance in hell, may as well not bother," apparently I'm fucking money. Yet the minute I get to thinking about "holy crap, maybe, just maybe..." I fall to shit. Case n point: yester-fuckin-day. Plagued with me just douching mysel all over to see this band I kinda like with the girl I kinda like who kinda likes this band kinda differently. So that's always fun. Add in the fact I spent most of the time stoned or talking, and, in my head at least, it was rough. Like walking on gravel barefoot rough.
So I'm gonna try my best to just be kind of Zen/Minimalist about shit for a while and see how I do. Cut back on a lot of shit. Like this thing for one. Instead try talking with people about shit. But doing it less; failing that, talking about more relevant/important/not fucking dumb stuff. Less weed, I think will be good. Maybe even less beer, tho that'll be a tough one. I dunno, maybe I'm just over-reacting but I'm doing my best not to be a fucking fanboy and just be. And I just don't think I'm doing so hot.
On the other hand, I did get a pretty sweet couple of buttons for my "emo" bag, and had a near-private concert with a band that kicked ass. Maybe I just need to think less, and act more.
In other news, werk bites, and I really think this will be my last summer ripping shoes. Also, I will never, ever, EVER have kids. Ever. And I need more free time.