doshin

So I've moved

It's liberating but i feel like every time I swim a bit further from the shore, get a little more adventurous and free, i just never know if iI'll become a fish, or driftwood.

So, i woke up one day and realized that i've taken out all of my piercings, no more lip ring, no more Monroe, my hears had nothing in them, and it made me a little sad, i didn't feel like re-piercing my lip or monroe, but i figured at the very least i could get my ears back up to 0, which I've done before.....
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SG Reactivation

Hello, whoever decided to reactivate my account for me, thank you very much!

<3

new:

car
tattoo
house

same old problems.

seriously, like i'm done, not to sound too entirely conceited but i don't need to sit here and get dumped on constantly, it was cool for a while, to be all depressed because of girls, art is hard and all that shit, but i'm done with it, i can do so much better without even trying, i just...
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its totally been like a year since i posted, fancy that.

i still exist

somewhat

damnit.
the worst part.
is that when i wake up tomorrow, i'll be fine, or at least i'll have enough composure to keep faking it. and because of that singular truth, it will probably never change.

i know who i want.
i know who doesn't want me.
i know who is so hopeless that it isn't worth trying.

i know that if i just pick someone for the sake of picking i wont be happy.

a break, or a clear cut answer woudl be nice.

though, probably not as fun.

sleeping is the answer.

sleeping is always the answer.


yay for naps.

you know what the worst part about your past is?

you cant change it, no matter what you do it will always be there.

she would have found some other reason to not like me, but i just hate that thats what did it.

its impossible to convince someone you're being yourself, when they are convinced you're not, it just doesn't work.

if you ever...
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i need to leave.

desparately.

all these people, they're all the same people.

and i dont know where to find new people,
i keep looking, but it seems like its always the same people, different faces and names, but always the same people, i need to move somewhere, somewhere i dont know anyone, i need green, i'm tired of this dead brown.

i'm here at...
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i cant create what i havent planed to destroy
i cant harm what i haven't planed to love
and i cant desire what i haven't despised

i want to hate you, and hurt you, and eventually destroy you.

but i want to do with the best intent.

so, my pool has become the place of naked swimming, but so far its jus tbeen me and my roomates, which, you know, nothing like a little naked swimming to bond, but i've decided we need girls who are comfortable enough to swim naked with us, not in any sexual way, just in a swimming sans suits type way (not that i'm gonna stop anythign...
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