Is it possible to love something--in this case, Suicide Girls, the site, the social network, the community, whatever--without feeling the need to ask a few questions? I don't know. I feel like the scorpion on the turtle's back--here I am getting what I want, and still I feel a sting coming on.
I've noticed that what I like about this place has evolved. I started out years ago wandering in, from Nerve, probably, or after some HBO mention, and I liked the obvious: real women, and that whole taking control of pornography (although what you find here isn't really porn, is it? Naked self presentation is not the same thing as engaging in a sex act for the camera) or taking control of the machinery of objectification. Very 90s take on 70s feminism, I guess. I suppose you could be cynical and say that this was, is, has always been socially acceptable nudie stuff, softened by the aura you get from the SG member pages of women winkingly playacting, at times satirizing the whole sexual game. So, basically, on the first go, here's what I liked: the women here looked like someone I might meet at a bar, my kind of bar, and the whole smart semi-ironic setup encouraged the idea.
I lost track for a few years, and this time when I came back to join again, at first SG seemed like a particular flavor of naked, like the banner says, tattooed goth emo, and so on, but the lessons of social networking have not been lost on the founders and staff here. And that's how I got drawn in a little deeper: that silly "loved it" box that pops up after you click out of a set? Well, after seeing that a couple hundred times, I finally started noticing the comments, which seem more like shouted encouragement at a "gentleman's club" (from the men, many of whom seem to be typing onehanded) or sisterly strokes (women, many of whom maybe ditto), and in general the comments seemed pretty bland, wankish, even at times embarrassing.
Well, then I started typing in a few comments of my own, and filling out odd bits of profile, and reading other people's blogs, and messaging people when I felt as if I'd just read or seen something that, if I'd heard it in person, I would have said something back: encouragement, reaction, gratitude. As I did this, I noticed a lot of other people engaged in the same sort of pseudo-social epistolary back and forth. A few times I could even see the next step out there--the wishlists, the semi-public breakdowns and breakups, the SG group meetings, the sense that there are distinct subgroups, SGFRANCE or SGLA, dominated by certain strong personalities. It's all visible, as easy to watch as those gorillas (Suicide Gorillas?) that Jane Goddall studied.
Digression: People will always find a way to put their private cruft out in public, and from what I can see, this is a good place to do it, since SG members can really be supportive, which makes the place seem like a good safe zone to act out, to people who are going to act out anyway. Still I've been watching in horror and amazement as Croft and Sassie go through a really soap-opera breakup, complete with revenge sex and hospital visits. Wow. Hard to look away, I guess, but I find it more encouraging to follow somebody like Dwam, who's testing out and putting together her own strong artistic practice right in front of us. I guess you can pick the dramas you want to watch here.
In other words, the act of commenting has led me deeper into the social fabric of this place. But I was surprised to learn, from the occasional comments from SGers seeking comments, that individual comments are less important than the volume of comments. Doh. Of course, the point isn't to inspire love or romantic devotion, but to register popularity and ranking and value to the member rolls and renewals. Which is good, people have to live. Still, here's my emotional reaction to this realization: wuh-wuh-wuh.
Still, as a red-diaper baby, I'm always interested in this stuff, the power structure and how the money moves, and by money I mean not just the 500 buck giveaways for going pink, which, if I can believe the blogs, often seems to help a girl make rent, and not the wishlists, where people can get or give photo books or harajuku toys or pink cookware or pinup-girl heels, but the real money, the occupations in the place. And I don't really sense some big conspiracy, or inequity of power or any of that. But still, there seems to be an in crowd and a larger group who'd like to wangle their way into that in group, and there's an undercurrent of power struggle there that I sense from time to time. So this place is a lot like life, right, and I shouldn't be surprised. But as somebody whose pleasures in watching have grown more complicated over the years here, this is the latest drama out there to watch.
Growing up on SG....
I've noticed that what I like about this place has evolved. I started out years ago wandering in, from Nerve, probably, or after some HBO mention, and I liked the obvious: real women, and that whole taking control of pornography (although what you find here isn't really porn, is it? Naked self presentation is not the same thing as engaging in a sex act for the camera) or taking control of the machinery of objectification. Very 90s take on 70s feminism, I guess. I suppose you could be cynical and say that this was, is, has always been socially acceptable nudie stuff, softened by the aura you get from the SG member pages of women winkingly playacting, at times satirizing the whole sexual game. So, basically, on the first go, here's what I liked: the women here looked like someone I might meet at a bar, my kind of bar, and the whole smart semi-ironic setup encouraged the idea.
I lost track for a few years, and this time when I came back to join again, at first SG seemed like a particular flavor of naked, like the banner says, tattooed goth emo, and so on, but the lessons of social networking have not been lost on the founders and staff here. And that's how I got drawn in a little deeper: that silly "loved it" box that pops up after you click out of a set? Well, after seeing that a couple hundred times, I finally started noticing the comments, which seem more like shouted encouragement at a "gentleman's club" (from the men, many of whom seem to be typing onehanded) or sisterly strokes (women, many of whom maybe ditto), and in general the comments seemed pretty bland, wankish, even at times embarrassing.
Well, then I started typing in a few comments of my own, and filling out odd bits of profile, and reading other people's blogs, and messaging people when I felt as if I'd just read or seen something that, if I'd heard it in person, I would have said something back: encouragement, reaction, gratitude. As I did this, I noticed a lot of other people engaged in the same sort of pseudo-social epistolary back and forth. A few times I could even see the next step out there--the wishlists, the semi-public breakdowns and breakups, the SG group meetings, the sense that there are distinct subgroups, SGFRANCE or SGLA, dominated by certain strong personalities. It's all visible, as easy to watch as those gorillas (Suicide Gorillas?) that Jane Goddall studied.
Digression: People will always find a way to put their private cruft out in public, and from what I can see, this is a good place to do it, since SG members can really be supportive, which makes the place seem like a good safe zone to act out, to people who are going to act out anyway. Still I've been watching in horror and amazement as Croft and Sassie go through a really soap-opera breakup, complete with revenge sex and hospital visits. Wow. Hard to look away, I guess, but I find it more encouraging to follow somebody like Dwam, who's testing out and putting together her own strong artistic practice right in front of us. I guess you can pick the dramas you want to watch here.
In other words, the act of commenting has led me deeper into the social fabric of this place. But I was surprised to learn, from the occasional comments from SGers seeking comments, that individual comments are less important than the volume of comments. Doh. Of course, the point isn't to inspire love or romantic devotion, but to register popularity and ranking and value to the member rolls and renewals. Which is good, people have to live. Still, here's my emotional reaction to this realization: wuh-wuh-wuh.
Still, as a red-diaper baby, I'm always interested in this stuff, the power structure and how the money moves, and by money I mean not just the 500 buck giveaways for going pink, which, if I can believe the blogs, often seems to help a girl make rent, and not the wishlists, where people can get or give photo books or harajuku toys or pink cookware or pinup-girl heels, but the real money, the occupations in the place. And I don't really sense some big conspiracy, or inequity of power or any of that. But still, there seems to be an in crowd and a larger group who'd like to wangle their way into that in group, and there's an undercurrent of power struggle there that I sense from time to time. So this place is a lot like life, right, and I shouldn't be surprised. But as somebody whose pleasures in watching have grown more complicated over the years here, this is the latest drama out there to watch.
Growing up on SG....
xo