Two entertainment occurences have influenced this rambling..and I swear it's not b/c I'm not about to get my period or the 2 glasses of wine I've had.
I saw freaky friday tonite w/ my mom..not the old version ..the new one w/ jamie lee curtis who I love. Of course in the new version the daughter is in a band that pracitces at her mothers house. Does this sound familiar to me? You betcha. The mom of course does not support the daughter's music..calling it noise, and says "hey at least they can practice at my house" eventually when they switch places the mother understands the daughters love for her band. Unfortunatly, switching minds and bodies does not happen in real life and I'll be forever doomed w/ my parents not realizing what in my life makes me truly happy. Though I guess it would help if I knew what made me truly happy. I guess I wish for starters that just once they would come out and see me play. bah.
2nd- Sex in the city. Or sex and the city..I forget what the show is called and I always get it confused even though I watch the episodes on DVD all the time. I was watching their tribute to NY, and Mr. Big is leaving the city for Napa. Which got me thinking about my current state...and my past. I wonder if everyone has a Mr. Big. I'm quite certain I've had more then my share. The men you love..but aren't truly in love with..b/c you know they were never meant to be. Just thinking about those guys that I've been fortunate to have in my life brings a smile to my face. All of them have touched me in some way..and not just in the bedroom you perverts. Each of them has some characteristic I truly admire and adore...even if some of them piss me off to no end now. I think they know that I care deeply for them on some level...and I hope that they think of me now and again and are able to smile too. My past has been a history of attracting opposites....maybe I thought I could change them at some point..but now looking back...I see that they have in some way changed me, just by being who they are. I love the sexual openess of _____, the political activism of _________, the aloofness of ________, the way he had such a horrible sense of humour of _______. and the way he makes me feel like shit sometimes but the other half of the time he just knows how to be there for me of ______, And maybe deep down they appreciate or maybe even love in some level the dorkiness, babbeling, worrisome, but occasionaly fun and goofiness of me.
But that's the past. I think I'm now ready for an Aidan. I think maybe, I hope maybe...I have found someone that might actually care for all of me, and not just the pieces they find convienent. but maybe that's just what we are all looking for. Someone that will take us as we are, and not love us b/c they want to fix us, or b/c we are great in bed, or b/c they see are potential. Maybe we just want someone that loves us..the way we are.
But maybe it's the wine.
I saw freaky friday tonite w/ my mom..not the old version ..the new one w/ jamie lee curtis who I love. Of course in the new version the daughter is in a band that pracitces at her mothers house. Does this sound familiar to me? You betcha. The mom of course does not support the daughter's music..calling it noise, and says "hey at least they can practice at my house" eventually when they switch places the mother understands the daughters love for her band. Unfortunatly, switching minds and bodies does not happen in real life and I'll be forever doomed w/ my parents not realizing what in my life makes me truly happy. Though I guess it would help if I knew what made me truly happy. I guess I wish for starters that just once they would come out and see me play. bah.
2nd- Sex in the city. Or sex and the city..I forget what the show is called and I always get it confused even though I watch the episodes on DVD all the time. I was watching their tribute to NY, and Mr. Big is leaving the city for Napa. Which got me thinking about my current state...and my past. I wonder if everyone has a Mr. Big. I'm quite certain I've had more then my share. The men you love..but aren't truly in love with..b/c you know they were never meant to be. Just thinking about those guys that I've been fortunate to have in my life brings a smile to my face. All of them have touched me in some way..and not just in the bedroom you perverts. Each of them has some characteristic I truly admire and adore...even if some of them piss me off to no end now. I think they know that I care deeply for them on some level...and I hope that they think of me now and again and are able to smile too. My past has been a history of attracting opposites....maybe I thought I could change them at some point..but now looking back...I see that they have in some way changed me, just by being who they are. I love the sexual openess of _____, the political activism of _________, the aloofness of ________, the way he had such a horrible sense of humour of _______. and the way he makes me feel like shit sometimes but the other half of the time he just knows how to be there for me of ______, And maybe deep down they appreciate or maybe even love in some level the dorkiness, babbeling, worrisome, but occasionaly fun and goofiness of me.
But that's the past. I think I'm now ready for an Aidan. I think maybe, I hope maybe...I have found someone that might actually care for all of me, and not just the pieces they find convienent. but maybe that's just what we are all looking for. Someone that will take us as we are, and not love us b/c they want to fix us, or b/c we are great in bed, or b/c they see are potential. Maybe we just want someone that loves us..the way we are.
But maybe it's the wine.