So the other night I had a first date with this girl...
I sorta knew her from her being a customer where I work (and where I used to work...I've know her for a couple of years as a customer, but we've never hung out.) I finally decided to ask her out since she's really into cool music...she also dj's at our community radio station. And she's the first girl I've been out with in a while that is basically my own age. I end up dating women younger than me most of the time because I like to hang out in bars, see shows, etc. I don't have any kids, I don't like to talk about mowing lawns or any of that other stuff people talk about when they get older. So I'm set to go out with someone close to my age and that seems cool. Maybe not as exciting as going out with some 26 year old who will dance on the bar while snorting crank, but still.. I'm getting older, and hanging out with young drunk people who can't handle their liquor is more than I can take some nights. So, I'm thinking..."hey, it's not my normal "love at first sight" or "I'll be dating this chick soon" thing I normally have. It's more like "this might be a cool chick that I could actually have a normal relationship with." We'll go out and see how we get along and see what happens from there. I was all about taking it slow and getting to know someone.
So we meet at Bosco's. I get there first and as soon as I get there I run into an ex-wrestler I know. We're talking and laughing and then she comes in. Introductions are made and my wrestling buddy tells me some funny stories and then she and I head to the bar cause the tables are all full. The plan is to have a few drinks there and then head over to the Bayou to eat, drink and play cool songs on the jukebox, which we did. After some guy had played about ten of the worst songs from the 90's...
Anyway, I go into the date with my patented first date method. Pretend like you've known the person for six months. Be at ease. Make jokes. Make fun of them. Pretend like you're sitting in the Deli with friends. I figure I'll learn about her in casual conversation. But she's all about the awkward first date shit. In the first hour I was with her, I was asked about a hundred questions. Do you like dogs? Do you like peanut butter? Which kind? Where do you live? It was like that tv commercial...Do you like magic? Oh, my god, she's killing me. She's a very sweet person, but she's killing me. I'm just trying to be entertaining. Telling stories, laughing at stuff, making jokes. She's like a non-sequiter resource. And then she asks me, out of the blue, "do you watch movies?" To which I reply, "No. I've never seen one. I hate the format."
She keeps asking questions until I finally ask, "what the hell? did you spend your whole afternoon thinking up questions you could ask me?"
I figure out pretty quick that I'm doing all the real entertaining on this date and I need more liquor to do it. She's cute. She's nice. She loves good music. She's still not really doing it for me.
There's a point in the night when I can tell she's drunk. We were both drinking Jack and cokes all night. I'm getting drunk to find some entertainment in this date. She's getting drunk to...well, she's just getting drunk. I can pinpoint the minute it happened. It was when all of this unsolicited, shouldn't mention on the first date shit started coming up. She starts talking about her ex-husband. Well, she's 34, so no surprise there. But then she starts up with this:
"I really shouldn't have married him. I wasn't in love with him, but I did it. And I was so worried before the ceremony. I didn't want to kiss him in public...in front of everyone. I thought I would get sick and throw up during the ceremony...how can my friends and family see me kiss this guy? I didn't want to do it! I liked him, but I couldn't ever show that in front of my family. I told my friends ahead of time that I thought about calling off the ceremony cause I didn't want anyone seeing me kiss anyone in public!"
I'm giving the story (and her, I guess) the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was young and goofy. Maybe in her late teens when she got married. So I asked her, "how old were you when you got married?" She said, "28." Oh, god, she's insane...
And then she starts going into some big long story about how her ex-husband could never satisfy her when he went down on her. And that when she was a teen, she discovered masturbation and did it all the time. And that she has a really high sex-drive. She loves sex, sex, sex. And it was pretty clear she wanted it with me...very soon. Of course, knowing me, that boat sailed around the time she asked what peanut butter I liked. And the fact that sex would be that easy, with no real reason as far as I was concerned, well, it wasn't going to happen. Not that night.
So, the moral of the story is...actually I don't know. It's just that the story (and the night) made me laugh...
I sorta knew her from her being a customer where I work (and where I used to work...I've know her for a couple of years as a customer, but we've never hung out.) I finally decided to ask her out since she's really into cool music...she also dj's at our community radio station. And she's the first girl I've been out with in a while that is basically my own age. I end up dating women younger than me most of the time because I like to hang out in bars, see shows, etc. I don't have any kids, I don't like to talk about mowing lawns or any of that other stuff people talk about when they get older. So I'm set to go out with someone close to my age and that seems cool. Maybe not as exciting as going out with some 26 year old who will dance on the bar while snorting crank, but still.. I'm getting older, and hanging out with young drunk people who can't handle their liquor is more than I can take some nights. So, I'm thinking..."hey, it's not my normal "love at first sight" or "I'll be dating this chick soon" thing I normally have. It's more like "this might be a cool chick that I could actually have a normal relationship with." We'll go out and see how we get along and see what happens from there. I was all about taking it slow and getting to know someone.
So we meet at Bosco's. I get there first and as soon as I get there I run into an ex-wrestler I know. We're talking and laughing and then she comes in. Introductions are made and my wrestling buddy tells me some funny stories and then she and I head to the bar cause the tables are all full. The plan is to have a few drinks there and then head over to the Bayou to eat, drink and play cool songs on the jukebox, which we did. After some guy had played about ten of the worst songs from the 90's...
Anyway, I go into the date with my patented first date method. Pretend like you've known the person for six months. Be at ease. Make jokes. Make fun of them. Pretend like you're sitting in the Deli with friends. I figure I'll learn about her in casual conversation. But she's all about the awkward first date shit. In the first hour I was with her, I was asked about a hundred questions. Do you like dogs? Do you like peanut butter? Which kind? Where do you live? It was like that tv commercial...Do you like magic? Oh, my god, she's killing me. She's a very sweet person, but she's killing me. I'm just trying to be entertaining. Telling stories, laughing at stuff, making jokes. She's like a non-sequiter resource. And then she asks me, out of the blue, "do you watch movies?" To which I reply, "No. I've never seen one. I hate the format."
She keeps asking questions until I finally ask, "what the hell? did you spend your whole afternoon thinking up questions you could ask me?"
I figure out pretty quick that I'm doing all the real entertaining on this date and I need more liquor to do it. She's cute. She's nice. She loves good music. She's still not really doing it for me.
There's a point in the night when I can tell she's drunk. We were both drinking Jack and cokes all night. I'm getting drunk to find some entertainment in this date. She's getting drunk to...well, she's just getting drunk. I can pinpoint the minute it happened. It was when all of this unsolicited, shouldn't mention on the first date shit started coming up. She starts talking about her ex-husband. Well, she's 34, so no surprise there. But then she starts up with this:
"I really shouldn't have married him. I wasn't in love with him, but I did it. And I was so worried before the ceremony. I didn't want to kiss him in public...in front of everyone. I thought I would get sick and throw up during the ceremony...how can my friends and family see me kiss this guy? I didn't want to do it! I liked him, but I couldn't ever show that in front of my family. I told my friends ahead of time that I thought about calling off the ceremony cause I didn't want anyone seeing me kiss anyone in public!"
I'm giving the story (and her, I guess) the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was young and goofy. Maybe in her late teens when she got married. So I asked her, "how old were you when you got married?" She said, "28." Oh, god, she's insane...
And then she starts going into some big long story about how her ex-husband could never satisfy her when he went down on her. And that when she was a teen, she discovered masturbation and did it all the time. And that she has a really high sex-drive. She loves sex, sex, sex. And it was pretty clear she wanted it with me...very soon. Of course, knowing me, that boat sailed around the time she asked what peanut butter I liked. And the fact that sex would be that easy, with no real reason as far as I was concerned, well, it wasn't going to happen. Not that night.
So, the moral of the story is...actually I don't know. It's just that the story (and the night) made me laugh...
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hey thanks fer your sweet comment on my set