In case you were wondering, emotional repression is hard work. But worth it, in the end.
My day-to-day existence is kind of dependent on keeping everything tightly in check. The occasional rant here keeps the pressure from building too much, and it keeps me from moaning to people all the time.
Well, except you lot, but then you always have the option not to read, yes?
The only trouble is that sometimes frustration builds, and if I get pissed about something then the whole system threatens to break apart and that's no good for anybody. Yesterday I started having some computer issues in the middle of work: computer issues are pretty high on my list of high-risk irritants, because I have no idea why they happen and no idea how to fix them. Then, while watching some sword fighting videos from The Three Musketeers, instead of noticing how very, very kickass the fights look... oh, and do they ever, by the way, book your tickets now, what I actually noticed was how fucking bald I looked in mine. Couldn't stand it. So now I'm frustrated and depressed.
We don't need a blow-by-blow, here... By the end of the night I'm picking arguments with the director over whose love life sucks more. It doesn't matter that I'm demonstrably right and he's crazy for even trying to argue the point, he's got his own pile of stress to deal with and doesn't need my shit on top of it.
See? When the levees break, it's no good for anybody. Thankfully Heroes, Black Donnellys, and an afternoon off work (can't use Word or Outlook 'till Mr. B or AC fix my Lappy, so why stick around?) have begun to edge my back towards normalcy.
Don't have anything to add except that I talked to her for the first time in nearly three months today. Not sure how I feel about it. Hardly worth writing, really.
"That's not so much a lesson as it is a retreat to a place of inner weakness."
-Cow
My day-to-day existence is kind of dependent on keeping everything tightly in check. The occasional rant here keeps the pressure from building too much, and it keeps me from moaning to people all the time.
Well, except you lot, but then you always have the option not to read, yes?
The only trouble is that sometimes frustration builds, and if I get pissed about something then the whole system threatens to break apart and that's no good for anybody. Yesterday I started having some computer issues in the middle of work: computer issues are pretty high on my list of high-risk irritants, because I have no idea why they happen and no idea how to fix them. Then, while watching some sword fighting videos from The Three Musketeers, instead of noticing how very, very kickass the fights look... oh, and do they ever, by the way, book your tickets now, what I actually noticed was how fucking bald I looked in mine. Couldn't stand it. So now I'm frustrated and depressed.
We don't need a blow-by-blow, here... By the end of the night I'm picking arguments with the director over whose love life sucks more. It doesn't matter that I'm demonstrably right and he's crazy for even trying to argue the point, he's got his own pile of stress to deal with and doesn't need my shit on top of it.
See? When the levees break, it's no good for anybody. Thankfully Heroes, Black Donnellys, and an afternoon off work (can't use Word or Outlook 'till Mr. B or AC fix my Lappy, so why stick around?) have begun to edge my back towards normalcy.
Don't have anything to add except that I talked to her for the first time in nearly three months today. Not sure how I feel about it. Hardly worth writing, really.
"That's not so much a lesson as it is a retreat to a place of inner weakness."
-Cow
*hug*