there are days where i wish i had something to say. there are days when i wish i could see better, and listen more attentively. there are days that i wish i could love, and times when i dont know if i'm even capable of doing so. Somedays, i lay in bed for hours, thinking of nothing, remembering nonsense from my past, and wiching that there was some sort of coherence. somdays i don't go to class and spend the entire day baked off my ass, wishing that i was sane enough to make myself a better man. i often get too scared to leave bed, i'll wake up sweating in the middle of the night, wishing htat i'd just piss myself in my sleep so that i wouldn't have to deal with looking people in the eye and interacting with them like a normal human being. my stomach hurts unless i stop thinking about it, it will occaisionally churn itself into such a knot that the only choices are bed or alcohol. I normally wonder why i come to suicide girls, since i am poor, and there is no way in hell i can afford this shit.sometimes i get super hot for no reason, and wish that i lived very far away. i am a hypocondriac. i am lazy, annd i dont know how to interact with people ina normal, comfortable fashion.
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