Lately I have been over come with anxiety, anger, sadness, . I just want to be left alone. Everyday is pretty much the same old bullshit. Wake up, loaf, get ready for work, go to work, pretty much do nothing ( or on some days deal with the same repetitive asshole I want to drop in a volcano) come home, talk to Rob and go to sleep. It is so monotonous that I am about to rip out my own hair. I don't even want to masturbate. I'm too bored to even do that. I've thought about it... tried something, then went.."Nah, fuck it". I would much rather be in a park with a good friend running around with toilet paper on my head singing "They're comming to take me away!!"
Could it be the diet I'm on?? Could it be the fact that my room looks like a tornado hit it? Could it be the fact that I have taken almost zero time to read the book I need to take a test on to get a raise?? Quite possibly. NO. I think it is because this is my favorite time of year and I have no friends to celebrate it with. I want to throw my phone in the closet, put on a coat, let my hair down, grab some friends and go jump in puddles, then go to the bar and have a few beers. Go outside in the damp weather and smoke a clove and hope to god I don't catch pneumonia. This is clove season. Maybe that would make me feel better. I just quit smoking a couple of months ago. But I bet just smelling a clove while I am outside in October would make me feel better. That and a big thick mug of Fat Tire or Hob Gobblin. Better yet SLO Brews Honey Wheat or Blueberry Malt. MMmmmmmmm..................." SLO Brew take me away!!!" Sounds better than Calgon doesn't it. Mmm Hmm.
Could it be the diet I'm on?? Could it be the fact that my room looks like a tornado hit it? Could it be the fact that I have taken almost zero time to read the book I need to take a test on to get a raise?? Quite possibly. NO. I think it is because this is my favorite time of year and I have no friends to celebrate it with. I want to throw my phone in the closet, put on a coat, let my hair down, grab some friends and go jump in puddles, then go to the bar and have a few beers. Go outside in the damp weather and smoke a clove and hope to god I don't catch pneumonia. This is clove season. Maybe that would make me feel better. I just quit smoking a couple of months ago. But I bet just smelling a clove while I am outside in October would make me feel better. That and a big thick mug of Fat Tire or Hob Gobblin. Better yet SLO Brews Honey Wheat or Blueberry Malt. MMmmmmmmm..................." SLO Brew take me away!!!" Sounds better than Calgon doesn't it. Mmm Hmm.
whiteout:
I wish we could hang out together. At least this time next year we can..I miss you. I love you. Just 2 months till our day.