Andy Warhol once said The most exciting thing is not doing it. If you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting. I suppose, to some extent he really was on to something. I am young, therefore i know little about eternal love or soul mates, however in all the relationships i have so far had, the ones i never had have provided me the most excitement. There is something that is emotionally delicious about desire. Desiring, something, or in such case someone, is far more satisfying then actually having it. When you have something, you no longer want it, it is immediatley taken for granted, and eventually becomes dispensable. On the other hand it is the things we long for, that encourage passion. I believe that is why people have affairs, it is not that they do not love the person they are committed to, it is just there is more passion in something that seems unatainable.
This is even more so with unreturned love, sure, to the standards of most people they consider such, to be painful, horrible, emotional turmoil. If that is the case we are all addicted to misery, because it seems, there is something about being rejected that people tend to enjoy. Maybe its the gun-ho, get up and try again attitude we are all instilled with from the days of nursery school. Love, has become like learning to ride our bicycle for the the very first time, fall off, try again, fall off, try again, fall off, suceed, decide that riding bikes in an un-cool pass time, go off and find something better to do.
What this really is about is sex, right? Lets be scientific, the only reason we even notice the opposite sex is because our primitive instincts order that we get it on, and what is an orgasm nothing but a short lived, make that an extremely short lived high. Yup, think of it as a the drug, and the average Joe the addict. Once you try it your hooked, and from that moment on your life is spent chasing after the next big high, the better high, the high to rule all highs. People, are slaves to the orgasm, even those who have never had one, they strive to achieve one. The developmental stages of the human claim that we we are sexual , beings from before we are even aware of what's going on. Of course, you are not gonna see any toddlers going about with cheap colognes and a collared shirts attempting to allure the opposite sex, but hey, even a baby knows, if you touch yourself down there; it feels good.
The thing about all this is, is that the whole ideal of eternal love and devotion is quite easily compromised. Scenario: Two lovers are friends for a long time, then one day in a fit of misjudgement they decide to be more then just friends and then in the typical cliche, they end up in a long term relationship, that really lacks any sort passionate interaction due to the fact they know everything about each other because they were friends for so long. The only thing that brought these two people together in the first place would of been curiousity. It's only human, that when you are fond of someone it is only natural to wonder about that other part of things, the feel good side, the alluring evil. The problem with that is once its been had, the curiosity is lost, and that other person is left completely and utterly without mystery. Depending on the persons and the committment level, and the actual mutuality of the relationship, it could they after last for a number of years, aswell has a number of reasons but whatever they be it will not be for that initial longing that two people share before they become physically intimate.
Alright, so i suppose i have a bunch you Jaw-dropped ready to raise your hand and claim to be a hopeless romantic devoted to your other, and so on and so forth. I won't argue with ya, loyalty it is a very binding thing. Many many people, exist in unsatisfying relationships because they are so fucking loyal, they deny even to themselves that they are unhappy. That is not even to say that everyone is unhappy, I will accept that once old age sets in and the trembling in our loins ceases to exist, people do tend to bind themselves together as loyal companions to one another. I don't know if thats really love- or a an item of comfort, something to remove the fear of going out of this world wounded and alone.
I find it hard to believe myself, that i have become the anti-love. Perhaps, i am just bitter and full of angst- that does seem to be the trend of youth these days. I won't deny there is something magical about two people coming together or not coming together really. I have been in love three times in my life once was a brief relationship, he decided to commit suicide while we were still discovering one another, and therefore the entirety of our time together i reflect on as being bittersweet in taste. However, i will always love him, beause our relationship had no conclusion we did not tire of one another, nore did we have the time to learn every tiny detail and grow bored. When i think of him i will always remeber things with a shiny glaze, because we parted in the perfection that is felt only when two people are just at the brink of there beginning.
The second Boy I loved, I loved for the wrong reasons. It was likely he loved me for all the wrong reasons as well, but together, as two broken people we enjoyed several weeks of bliss together that escalated slowly and then came crashing down with nothing but an abrubt drop off. Funny thing is i do not remeber loving him before it ended, it was after it ended that i became infactuated. At the time all those wrong reasons felt like the right ones, and the more i was faced with the reality of how wrong we were for each other, the more i desired to be back with him. He refused me, and therefore he became my prize, it was a challenge to rise to. Make him love me again, Make him repent. I do not believe i had ever been hooked so bad. He desired me within the relationship, i desired him outside of it. It was sick really, to this day we do not get along.
Then there was my scenerio man, yes we, are the friends turned lovers. I love him, and it is the most wholesome and true love i have ever had the gift of sharing. We are best friends, we know everything about each other, we are hopelessly dull.
So, i like so many women before me am having an inappropriate association. He, is more of the artist type like myself, and i have yet to determine wheither or not that matters. I am not in love with him, but i have never desired someone so badly in my entire life, because we are keeping our interactions on the low down, i have to go out of my way to avoid him during the day, not that we don't occasionally see each other in the college and send each other subtle hints. Being seen alone together it out of the question.
The reason I don't call it an affair is because we have yet to have sex and we do not go on dates, and personally i feel my cheating is more emotional thn physical so far. When we are together we talk about everything and anything, I get drunk and silly off cheap beer, something i would never do really. Then the two of us just hold one another and kiss and touch each other completely without caution, until one of us has enough mind to call it off. He will say You have a boyfriend! or I will say I cannot, because I have a boyfriend. and its as if we are making excuses for ourselves about why our actions are wrong.
This is even more so with unreturned love, sure, to the standards of most people they consider such, to be painful, horrible, emotional turmoil. If that is the case we are all addicted to misery, because it seems, there is something about being rejected that people tend to enjoy. Maybe its the gun-ho, get up and try again attitude we are all instilled with from the days of nursery school. Love, has become like learning to ride our bicycle for the the very first time, fall off, try again, fall off, try again, fall off, suceed, decide that riding bikes in an un-cool pass time, go off and find something better to do.
What this really is about is sex, right? Lets be scientific, the only reason we even notice the opposite sex is because our primitive instincts order that we get it on, and what is an orgasm nothing but a short lived, make that an extremely short lived high. Yup, think of it as a the drug, and the average Joe the addict. Once you try it your hooked, and from that moment on your life is spent chasing after the next big high, the better high, the high to rule all highs. People, are slaves to the orgasm, even those who have never had one, they strive to achieve one. The developmental stages of the human claim that we we are sexual , beings from before we are even aware of what's going on. Of course, you are not gonna see any toddlers going about with cheap colognes and a collared shirts attempting to allure the opposite sex, but hey, even a baby knows, if you touch yourself down there; it feels good.
The thing about all this is, is that the whole ideal of eternal love and devotion is quite easily compromised. Scenario: Two lovers are friends for a long time, then one day in a fit of misjudgement they decide to be more then just friends and then in the typical cliche, they end up in a long term relationship, that really lacks any sort passionate interaction due to the fact they know everything about each other because they were friends for so long. The only thing that brought these two people together in the first place would of been curiousity. It's only human, that when you are fond of someone it is only natural to wonder about that other part of things, the feel good side, the alluring evil. The problem with that is once its been had, the curiosity is lost, and that other person is left completely and utterly without mystery. Depending on the persons and the committment level, and the actual mutuality of the relationship, it could they after last for a number of years, aswell has a number of reasons but whatever they be it will not be for that initial longing that two people share before they become physically intimate.
Alright, so i suppose i have a bunch you Jaw-dropped ready to raise your hand and claim to be a hopeless romantic devoted to your other, and so on and so forth. I won't argue with ya, loyalty it is a very binding thing. Many many people, exist in unsatisfying relationships because they are so fucking loyal, they deny even to themselves that they are unhappy. That is not even to say that everyone is unhappy, I will accept that once old age sets in and the trembling in our loins ceases to exist, people do tend to bind themselves together as loyal companions to one another. I don't know if thats really love- or a an item of comfort, something to remove the fear of going out of this world wounded and alone.
I find it hard to believe myself, that i have become the anti-love. Perhaps, i am just bitter and full of angst- that does seem to be the trend of youth these days. I won't deny there is something magical about two people coming together or not coming together really. I have been in love three times in my life once was a brief relationship, he decided to commit suicide while we were still discovering one another, and therefore the entirety of our time together i reflect on as being bittersweet in taste. However, i will always love him, beause our relationship had no conclusion we did not tire of one another, nore did we have the time to learn every tiny detail and grow bored. When i think of him i will always remeber things with a shiny glaze, because we parted in the perfection that is felt only when two people are just at the brink of there beginning.
The second Boy I loved, I loved for the wrong reasons. It was likely he loved me for all the wrong reasons as well, but together, as two broken people we enjoyed several weeks of bliss together that escalated slowly and then came crashing down with nothing but an abrubt drop off. Funny thing is i do not remeber loving him before it ended, it was after it ended that i became infactuated. At the time all those wrong reasons felt like the right ones, and the more i was faced with the reality of how wrong we were for each other, the more i desired to be back with him. He refused me, and therefore he became my prize, it was a challenge to rise to. Make him love me again, Make him repent. I do not believe i had ever been hooked so bad. He desired me within the relationship, i desired him outside of it. It was sick really, to this day we do not get along.
Then there was my scenerio man, yes we, are the friends turned lovers. I love him, and it is the most wholesome and true love i have ever had the gift of sharing. We are best friends, we know everything about each other, we are hopelessly dull.
So, i like so many women before me am having an inappropriate association. He, is more of the artist type like myself, and i have yet to determine wheither or not that matters. I am not in love with him, but i have never desired someone so badly in my entire life, because we are keeping our interactions on the low down, i have to go out of my way to avoid him during the day, not that we don't occasionally see each other in the college and send each other subtle hints. Being seen alone together it out of the question.
The reason I don't call it an affair is because we have yet to have sex and we do not go on dates, and personally i feel my cheating is more emotional thn physical so far. When we are together we talk about everything and anything, I get drunk and silly off cheap beer, something i would never do really. Then the two of us just hold one another and kiss and touch each other completely without caution, until one of us has enough mind to call it off. He will say You have a boyfriend! or I will say I cannot, because I have a boyfriend. and its as if we are making excuses for ourselves about why our actions are wrong.