Here's something I wrote about a month ago. I was going to post it on FB but decided that there was people on there that I didn't want to read this for various reasons.
Time for me to be honest. Most of have seen me drink socially, some even "lucky" enough to see me over do it a time or two. What most of you don't know that I would also drink to escape my problems. I did a pretty good job of hiding it from everyone. Drinking alone until I felt numb. It's the main reason I stopped drinking all together a few years back. I started back up once I thought I had a handle on things. Well recently I was going through a tough situation and couldn't handle it. Going to sleep was nearly impossible because I could not shut my brain off. I drowned those thoughts until I could no longer hear them. That all came to an end Tuesday night. I sat outside star gazing (what I could see between clouds) and drinking until I couldn't see straight. I somehow made it to bed. But not before I snapped a couple shots of the wall holding me up. Barely remember even taking those. Found them the next day, so not attractive. Before passing out a light bulb finally went off. I realized this was bullshit, I'd wake up the next day and my problems would still be there, and probably a nasty hangover to add to it. Interesting side note, apparently I don't get hangovers from Jager. Anyways back to my point. I came to the conclusion I'm going to have to face all my problems. In time they will pass. Some sooner than others. But no matter what I can't mask them. So if you're wondering what my "habit from the past" was (a status update on FB), this was it.
Now I'm not going to quit all together. I still enjoy drinking and can do it responsibly. I just won't turn to it for a coping device.
"Can't wait to make this a memory-remembering what can never be"-Pennywise
Time for me to be honest. Most of have seen me drink socially, some even "lucky" enough to see me over do it a time or two. What most of you don't know that I would also drink to escape my problems. I did a pretty good job of hiding it from everyone. Drinking alone until I felt numb. It's the main reason I stopped drinking all together a few years back. I started back up once I thought I had a handle on things. Well recently I was going through a tough situation and couldn't handle it. Going to sleep was nearly impossible because I could not shut my brain off. I drowned those thoughts until I could no longer hear them. That all came to an end Tuesday night. I sat outside star gazing (what I could see between clouds) and drinking until I couldn't see straight. I somehow made it to bed. But not before I snapped a couple shots of the wall holding me up. Barely remember even taking those. Found them the next day, so not attractive. Before passing out a light bulb finally went off. I realized this was bullshit, I'd wake up the next day and my problems would still be there, and probably a nasty hangover to add to it. Interesting side note, apparently I don't get hangovers from Jager. Anyways back to my point. I came to the conclusion I'm going to have to face all my problems. In time they will pass. Some sooner than others. But no matter what I can't mask them. So if you're wondering what my "habit from the past" was (a status update on FB), this was it.
Now I'm not going to quit all together. I still enjoy drinking and can do it responsibly. I just won't turn to it for a coping device.
"Can't wait to make this a memory-remembering what can never be"-Pennywise