bend_sinister

Listen, if you had to pick a single incident that encapsulates your life in all its bewildering multifarious absurdity then what would it be?

Mine dates back a few years; I'd been attending an evening class and with no public transport back to where I lived until the following morning spent the night in the vacated home of an elderly aunt, who had died in...
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'Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.' - Samuel Beckett

This list has recently become a fixation, possibly because I've only seen three of the films on it...

Ten Strangest Films

I've long had an obsession with lists, particuarly film and music which might be a symptom of my Aspergers. In 1993 I picked up a copy of the NME that featured what their writers considered to be the 100 Greatst Albums of All Time....
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I'd like to sit with a girl and discuss Last Year at Marienbad... over coffee and cigarettes... or indeed any other vice of their preference. That's not my peculiar idea of a date, it might be an entirely innocent and platonic encounter - although needless to say I'd not preclude the possibility that fervent discussion might lead to a wild compulsion to tear one...
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Fuck it. I don't belong here, nobody likes me. I'm done.

Dammit, I wish I knew how to talk to people.

Out walking the dog this morning I started thinking what I would do should I discover a wallet full of cash. I concluded that if the wallet had no form of ID then I'd have no qualms about pocketing the money for myself, whereas if it did I'd hand it in to the police. I don't think the quantity of hypothetical money would have made...
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I no longer write in this journal because I don't believe anybody's really that interested in what I have to say; any further entries would be nothing more than a narcissistic indulgence. If I were a more engaging personality perhaps things could have been different. Should any hapless souls chance upon this, please don't mistake my words for self-pity or a veiled plea for attention,...
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My apathy is now chronic, there's no escaping it. I find the world completely meaningless, and all attempts to impose any kind of ideology or belief system upon it are ridiculous. The trouble is therapy would be pointless because you can't even call it depression; it's more like absolute, profound indifference.

Physicists are now postulating that at the end of the universe it may be...
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Here's another in the occasional (and long believed cancelled) series in which I pretend that anybody has the slightest interest in my melancholic invective.

Today I finished reading Art Spiegelman's 'Maus' and at one point he quotes to his shrink something Beckett once said: "Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness". Not for the first time it seems to me Mr...
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